My child is a bully.
He does not play nice with other kids lately and it's more than just irritating me. I need some serious, real, hard core advice and suggestions because I have NO CLUE what to do.
He pushes for no reason, he body checks, and constantly grabs toys. If he pushes or body checks people I give him only 1 warning and then send him to his room if he does it again. If he grabs a toy, I ask him who had it first. If the other person did then I tell him he needs to give it back and wait his turn. If he had it first then I remind him that we need to share and that he can play with the toy for x amount of time and then the other person gets to have a turn with it.
Clearly, this isn't working. Or maybe it isn't working lately because he does it all the time. Sometimes I even tell him he won't be able to go over or have friends over if he keeps doing x. I also tell him that that behaviour is not nice or not acceptable or unkind and mean and that we need to treat other people kindly. Sometimes I have even said "Do you think Heavenly Father and Jesus would want you to be mean or yell(or whatever the behaviour is)?" Sometimes he says "no" but then keeps doing it.
My problem is the punishment/consequence. I'm not sure if what I'm doing is working or not. Right now, this week, it's not. It's kind of a hit and miss some days. How do I encourage him to share? It's very frustrating...ahhhhh!
3 years ago
4 comments:
I... got nothin! not being a parent yet, I don't even have any ideas better than what you are already doing :) but since you're going through this, if my kid is a bully, I'll know who to come to for help!
Have you ever watched the 1-2-3 Magic videos? You can get them from the Raymond Library. It is worth watching them. It helps to deal with all sorts of behavior... from whinning to hitting. It has been helping with Brighton. He can be a bit of a bully to, so I totally understand your frusteration.
I have no advice--my daughter just beat the crap out of a three year old and a five year from noon til 7:00 Pm last wed. night. it was horrid so i can totally relate to that lately or at leas that day for some reason....I was definitely at my wits end by the end of the day. it was one dang hard day. maybe we should put tanner and kinlee in an empty room and let them duke it out til they get it out of their system.
YAY for Matt getting work with the county of warner. that's so so awesome. I hope everything works out and he loves it. sounds ideal having fridays off. isn't it amazing how the Lord always always provides a way and a release from struggles and trials--even if it seems like it's beyond the time frame you think you can deal.
I'd come to your yard sale and buy a cookie but this wknd is nuts we have our 10 year High School reunion and a wedding all day tomorrow. it's crazy how busy we have been i can't wait for a day to just chill and have NOTHING to do....that might just never happen. anyway i hope the rest of your garage sale is a success....
see you later mandy and congrats again on that job...
So maybe we don't want to play with you after all? Ha ha - JK! I second the recommendation for 123 Magic. Good stuff. I don't have any profound advice. I'm usually at a complete loss when it comes to parenting. I think I would just say, take a zero tolerance policy - completely remove him from the situation immediately, don't let him go back, and only explain once, using as few words as possible that this is unacceptable behavior and x behavior means you don't get to play anymore. End of story. And then wait for time to go by so your great lesson can sink in and your seeds will blossom - ha ha ha.
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