Speed

My life has been moving at such a rapid speed lately that I do not like what I have let it done to me. Normally, I'm totally on the ball about birthday's...in the last 4 weeks, I have missed or delayed or forgotten several birthday's of some really important people! I was reminded today what it means to be a good friend and I really hope that I can slow down enough to be able to be the kind of friend I use to be and really want to be. Sometimes it is hard for me to express with vocal words how deeply I am grateful for the things people do for us. I really am so very lucky to be blessed with such amazing people/friends/family. I just really hope that people know that I really am grateful.

I think I have a slight addiction problem. I think I'm addicted to hanging out with my friends! Whenever I'm at my friends' house, I don't want to leave even though I have piles of laundry that need to get done and bathrooms that need to be cleaned. I would rather fold other people's laundry and clean their bathrooms and clean their kitchen's than go home and do mine. I did finally get caught up on laundry this week. You know it's bad when your 7 year old asks if you're doing laundry because he has no more socks to wear and you haven't even noticed. My plate runneth over at times. I just need to focus on my responsibilities and just do it!

I'm getting excited more and more every time I go over to the house so that helps me to get motivated to do what I need to at home.

I was reading this week about the upcoming Royal wedding and I thought about how lucky I really am to not have to worry what the world thinks of me or how I dress, or what I eat etc etc. It's so nice to have a normal, non-invasive life. Obviously there are certain people who are born and meant for royalty or celebrity but I'm glad I wasn't one of those. I'm glad that I can go out in my P.J.s and sweat shirt to the local grocery store and not have the paparazzi all over me and taking my photo. Some people like being dressed up and dolled up for even going to the gas station and if that suits their fancy, well good for them. But I don't always like to be gussied up. If I want to hang out in my comfy clothes and eat KFC without being criticized for how I eat it, then I can. We all have role models and maybe some of those role models are perfectly preened and use proper etiquette, but to me, that feels really fake and contrived. If you are a good example, then you're probably a good role model. But I don't think you have to be perfectly dressed all the time, or use proper etiquette in order to be a good example. I do think that there's a line...obviously we wouldn't take the President of the U.S.A. too seriously if he always showed up everywhere in his p.j's but I think it's your actions AND attitude that speak louder than what you say. There is a time and a place for all things and I'm just glad that my life is pretty dull and normal.

Sorry for rambling on. I just was thinking about that and wanted to get it off my mind.

Well, I guess that's all for now folks. So until later this week (with hopefully more house pictures...because the shingles and siding are there and will probably be up this week!!!!).

Seriously

I seriously have the BEST of the BESTEST friends in the world! I am so dang lucky to have such amazing friends.

Shall I elaborate??? Of course I will.

As most people know, Tanner goes to one of my friends' (Amelia) house on Wednesday and not only does she watch Tanner, she makes both of us supper EVERY Wednesday. Awesome!

THEN, since we don't have cable (by choice) Susanne and I get together every week to watch 3 of our favorite shows and we decided this 'season' that we would do dinner and the shows. We alternate who does the meal but we always watch the shows at her house. Susanne is a terrific cook and I LOVE eating at her house. So yes, Susanne, this post was partly about you : )

It's so nice to only have to think about 2-3 other meals (Sunday's are always spaghetti and Thursday's are always leftovers) depending on the week.

Some days I can't believe how lucky I am with the amazing, thoughtful friends I have not only here in town but in Calgary too.

3 days late

I posted in an earlier post that in 2011, I wanted to do a daily Happiness post. I know this is late, but still, here it is.

HAPPINESS IS:

Jan 1. being back at home with Matt and in my own bed after 2 nights on the love seat at my Aunts

Jan 2. wearing a dress I LOVE, seeing Susanne at church, and having quality time with just Matt to talk about finances, life, goals etc.

Jan 3. FHE with Tanner (we talked about families), building his crazy fort, being super productive and getting an adjustment (as a result of sleeping on the love seat, I was in desperate need of one).

5 for Friday

The 5 things that made me most happy this week...in no particular order



1. Matt and Tanner. They are so fun and love me for me and are both so good to me.





2. Going to Relief Society last Sunday and this Sunday. I miss it soooo much and love being able to go when I can.





3. Reading the messages in the Ensign. I love the General Conference issue and love re-reading the talks. I just finished reading President Uchtdorf's talk on patience. SO GOOD!!!!






4. Friends like Susanne, Sharon and Jamie (no picture). I know these are old pictures and you're both probably going to complain that you look terrible in them but I don't have recent pictures of either one of you so you'll both have to suck it up...lol. These friends are some of the greatest friends I have . Sharon watches Tanner and always has nice things to say no matter what. She's always so positive. And Susanne is there night or day whenever I need to talk or just to tell her good news or bad news...whatever it may be. Jamie is supportive and loyal and understanding and always puts equal amounts of effort into our friendship.




5. My sister's, Amy and Megan. These are pictures from last year's birthday because we are celebrating their birthday's tomorrow so you'll get pictures next week. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my sisters and they really are my biggest fans and greatest friends. Although we did not get along as kids (no one really liked me...I was a little mean) we have really become true friends as we've gotten older and married/moved away/went on missions. Each of my sisters (I have 3) are special and unique in their own way and I love them all.

There are other things that made me really happy this week. 5 is not even close to the number of things that made me happy this week. It is just a small fraction of all the blessings in my life.

Tanner lost his second bottom tooth. It was actually kind of funny because it was the night that I run and when I got home he said: I lost my tooth while you were running. He had been eating corn on the cob and it came out. He didn't tell the babysitter and so he said it fell on the floor and wanted me to help him find it. Right! because finding a tooth on a beige colored carpet is easy. I told him I would look for it while he went to bed but then he found it. I don't know how, but he has really good eyes.

I also planned our trip to Salt Lake. I thought I should think about booking a motel because it probably isn't smart to drive all the way there in one day. right? Tanner is an excellent traveller and we spoil him on trips...as in, we have a portable DVD machine that he can watch movies on. He really likes that so we have put some movies away until our trip so they'll be "new" for when we drive down there. I might see if I can borrow a couple from some friends, but if not, I think we'll be fine. We bought him this travel bingo game that he loves and also travel size Trouble. If you know of any other games/activities that you find your kids like, I would love to hear about them. Movies are the easy way out if he's getting bored but I would like him to do other things too. Books and music only go so far for him.

We are trying a few new things while we're there. Normally when I've gone, we do Temple square and shopping but this time we're going to do some tours and the Children's museum and the zoo. Now that a lot of the stores that use to be only in the states and not in Canada, are now in Canada, shopping won't be so "special". I remember Old Navy and Bath and Body Works were special stores but now that they are in Canada, the novelty isn't there as much. We always go to See's Candy store and this time we are actually going to do a tour of the Candy Factory that makes the world famous Salt Water Taffy. It should be fun. I'm sure Tanner will love it, if nothing else.

So I guess that's all for now. Have a great long weekend and don't get burnt!

Word of the week...

B L U F F

Those of you who are familiar with my life right now, know why this word would be a great word for the week right now. Enough said...moving on...

L O V E

Another really great word right now. The things I love the most right now in life:

-Matt. He made his first loaves of home made bread last week and they were by far better than any I've ever made. He loves me for me and I know some days that can be really hard...it can be hard for me to love me some days ; )

-Tanner. If you had told me 7 years ago that a child could bring a person so much joy and sheer happiness, I'm not sure I'd believe it. It's something you have to experience to understand. Tanner is a very very very bright spot in my life...constantly...even when he's being a pickle, he is my pure joy in my heart. I know that the way I feel for him is only but a small particle of the way Heavenly Father feels for us. That is unimaginable to me...incomprehensible. How could anyone love me more than I love Tanner? I don't know how, but I know it's true.

-Friends. I love love love my friends. They are a strength to me every single day. They are a constant source of forgiveness, understanding, laughter, joy, happiness, and most of all love in my life. I don't have a huge circle of friends. I have but a small handful of friends that I trust with my life and heart and that's good enough for me. I'm not one of those people who needs to have lots and lots of friends to feel good about themselves or to feel a certain way. I know my friends love me for me, no matter what.

-My job. I adore my job. I love getting up and going to work and meeting people everyday. I have amazing employers and I am grateful every day for the opportunity they have given to me.

-My sisters. Word cannot express how much I love those girls. I love them. All my sisters are unique in themselves and there are certain things that I know I can talk to each sister about. For example, I can talk to Megan about marriage and kids because her and I are the only ones with children. It's something we understand with each other. Amy, she is a movie nerd (a good thing) and she can tell me what movies are worth seeing. She is also really good at talking about real life and political, deeper subject...especially the gospel. She is so stinkin' smart when it comes to the gospel. Melany, she has a quiet strength all her own. She listens when you don't think she is and she can make me laugh like no one else can. I love my sister a lot.

-My Mom. What can I really say but good things about my Mom. She is amazing and awesome and loving and kind and understanding and forgiving and patient and charitable and generous and strong and just a really really great person/mom/friend. Sometimes the way I feel about her is too much for me to put into words. The love I feel for her is forever.

-My Dad. Although my Dad died in '91 I still love him and am grateful for all the things he taught me. He was a great great man/leader and I still look to his example.

-My Savior. I love the Savior. Enough said for now.

-Music. I can not live without my music. I am very frequently plugged in. I don't listen to hard stuff. Quite often in the house I play the Mormon Tabernacle Choir or Tanner's Children Songbook C.D.'s. Music can change a mood or emotion so quickly and can calm and relax or liven up or make me run faster.

-Time. I love the time that I get to enjoy each day and each moment with the things and people that I love the most.

I just love life!

random musings

Tonight Matt and I are going on a date with my best friend and her husband. We are going to see the movie about wolverine. I am not a huge x-man/wolverine fan. In fact, they kind of bore me but I really need to go on a date with Matt and I love spending time with my best friend so I am going to go. Who knows, maybe I'll enjoy the movie...lol. It does have Hugh Jackman and he's pleasant on the eyes. I'm excited to go. Matt and I haven't been to a movie since...well let's just say I can't remember the last time we've gone together with each other. I think maybe it was Christmas...I can't remember. Matt got 7 movie passes for his birthday and he's sharing one with me so we can go out together. I sure do love him. I have to admit that I'm a tad bit selfish when it comes to gifts. If I got a movie pass, I would have a hard (although it wouldn't be impossible) time sharing it with Matt. It would be worth the sacrifice though.

Last night I learned to crochet and today, I have a migraine. It's very muscle intensive to do that. I get all tense and then the next day, I pay. I have to learn to relax a bit more. I am making a blanket. A baby blanket...no not for me. I don't know who, but it's blue. So clearly for a boy.

I have some quotes out of the book that I just finished reading that I thought were good and I would like to share.

Bruce C. Hafen: When troubles come, the parties of a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they are receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions give 50 percent; covenant companions give 100 percent. Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will. Jesus taught about contractual attitudes when he described the "hireling," who preforms his conditional promise of care only when he receives something in return. When the hireling "seeth the wolf coming," he "leaveth the sheep, and fleeth...because he...careth not for the sheep." By contrast, the Savior said, "I am the good shepherd,...and I lay down my life for the sheep" (John 10:12-15). Many people today marry as hirelings. And when the wolf comes, they flee. This idea is wrong. It curses the earth, turning parents' hearts away from their children and from each other (D&C 2)

Bruce R. McConkie: From the moment of birth into mortality to the time we are married in the temple, everything we have in the whole gospel system is to prepare and qualify us to enter that holy order of matrimony which makes us husband and wife in this life and in the world to come.
Then from the moment we are sealed together by the power and authority of the holy priesthood-the power to bind on earth and have it sealed eternally in the heavens-from that moment everything connected with revealed religion is designed to help us keep the terms and conditions of our marriage covenant, so that this covenant will have efficacy, virtue and force in the life to come. Thus celestial marriage is the crowning ordinance of the gospel, the crowning ordinance of the house of the Lord. Thus the family unit is the most important organization in time or in eternity

Those quotes just really stuck out to me. In a world where the family is being torn down all around us, I just feel so strongly about keeping our families from being destroyed by the adversary. We have to have strong foundations in our marriages to have a strong family so I felt the 2 quotes were kind of connected in a way.

On another note, my Mom bought us a clothes line. One of those umbrella ones. I'm so excited to have it. I only have one line across my backyard so I'm limited in the amount of clothes I can put on it. With air drying all our clothes (except towels and underclothing) we have quite a bit of clothes. I usually have 3 loads of clothes to do in addition to the towels/sheets and underclothes. It will be great to have more line to dry clothes. I love doing laundry. I love seeing the clothes blowing in the breeze. I'm kind of a nerd...I know. It is just so satisfying to me to do laundry. I love sorting the clothes and organizing them in the washer so I can fit them all in so one side isn't heavier than the other. I've never dreaded doing laundry. I'm weird, it's okay. I dread other things like cleaning my room, or sweeping. I don't like sweeping. I like mopping, but not sweeping.

We are going to Calgary for the May long weekend and I'm excited. It's the first time since Christmas that Matt will be able to come with us. He is now working at the county of Warner and so he has Fridays off so we'll enjoy a bit of a longer holiday. Seeing as we don't go many places together, it will be a nice treat for us to be together as a family. He won't get 2 weeks vacation since this is just a seasonal job so any extra long weekend together will be awesome. He's been off this week and in the past I would normally dread when he's home for long periods of time, but I've actually quite enjoyed it this time. I usually dread it because it kind of wrecks mine and Tanner's routine. But this time, he has been really helpful and even trimmed the lawn and he's getting Tanner new bike tires today. So it's been great. I guess I feel like I'm in a different place in my life and I am not as easily annoyed at change or difference. I think that's what makes it different this time. I'm trying to just go with the flow and not be uptight about things that really don't matter. I am trying to look at the eternal perspective and choose weather what is going on is worth getting upset or annoyed at. It's change, but I feel good about it.

Well, I think that's it for now. I hope everyone is having a great day and enjoying the weather (it's pretty nice here).

Pause

This week has been the busiest week so far of my life that I can remember. Monday night was the viewing of my Uncle. I was the only one of my family that went in. I understand some people don't get the point of a viewing but I do. My Mom had a viewing of my Dad and that was really the first time I had ever heard of such a thing. I did not bring Tanner to it because I just don't know if he really understands death yet. I don't want to over expose him to it but I don't want to keep him totally and utterly sheltered from it because it happens and at some point, I know I'll have to explain it to him.

I did, however, take him to the cemetery on Tuesday. They buried my Uncle before the actual funeral service and I felt like that was something he could handle and I could explain to him in terms that were simple and that he would understand. I think it helped that we went to the cemetery on Monday afternoon to visit my Dad's grave site and place a wreath on it. My Uncle was buried right beside my Dad, which was really nice. Then after the burial, we (my Mom and Amy) dropped Tanner off and went over to the funeral service. It was a beautiful service. Just all around a really nice service. Every one in the whole family was there except 4 of the cousins, 2 of which were my other 2 sisters. Then 2 from the states were missing. Lots of my cousins traveled from distant places and it was so nice to be able to see them.

Anyways, then we spent the night in Airdrie with my Aunt. Today, we were at the Hospital all morning and for part of the afternoon for appointments and then to Erica's to visit and then to my Mother in Laws for a party. So it was a bust day and I am so looking forward to tomorrow when I have only one thing to do...speech therapy.

Tanner has been an angel for the last 3 days. Just really good and patient and loving and just really really great. It just makes it less worrisome for me to know that he's being so good.

I miss my friends and especially Matt right now. BUT...he did have 2 interviews so hopefully something comes of one of them.

I have a feeling this next year will be a year of a lot of deaths. Life can just be so fragile sometimes. I am thankful that I chose to come to earth and have this experience because I know that it will help me to be a stronger person. Death is not the end and I am so grateful for that knowledge. The gospel is true and that's all that matters is knowing the gospel and living it the best we know how through faith in Jesus Christ.

Life is not easy, but it is so worth it.

A fun day

Today is my friend, Susanne's, birthday. For her birthday a few of us got together and had a little surprise party for her. It was so much fun! Here are some pictures from the fun time together.



Here's one of my best friends, Sharon. Isn't she cute!




Here is her family. Aren't they all so cute!





Shelby, Tanner and Anna eating...only because they knew cake was coming



Nicole and Susanne. Nicole and Susanne grew up together




Susanne and her cake. The wind blew the candles out so we had to pretend that she blew them out. That's why she looks so surprised.




So we had a great time...well at least I did. I've never thrown a surprise party because someone has always upstaged me or taken my ideas and did the party themselves. So I am happy that I FINALLY got to throw one. It was so wonderful to be with amazing, wonderful friends and have our children play and visit with each other. I am so so so eternally lucky and blessed to have such terrific friends that love me and stand by me and support me no matter what. Friends that I care for so deeply and feel so loyal to them. I just really love my friends. Life would not be the same without them.

I love friends!

Kindred Spirits

If you have ever seen the movie "Anne of Green Gables", you know what I'm talking about. If not, then you should watch it because it's a really great movie.

Anyways, when I was younger and watched that movie I always wished I had a friendship like Anne and Diana's. They were kindred spirits. My sister's all seemed to find their kindred spirits while we were younger but I hadn't. Although I have always had one or two best friends in my life, I have never felt like we were kindred spirits. Don't get me wrong, I love all my friends but there's a different kind of connection with someone that you consider a kindred spirit. There's something about having and being part of a kindred spirit kind of friendship that is hard to explain to someone who's never felt that way. I didn't really feel like I had a kindred spirit until just recently. Now, I'm not going to reveal who this person is because I don't feel it necessary to do so. I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS unconditionally.

Sometimes you just find a friend that you connect with on a different level than you do with your other friends. A friend that fits into your life like a puzzle piece that you didn't know was missing. Someone that you feel a deeper connection to than someone that maybe you've known for a long time. It's hard to explain in words what makes a friend not just a friend but a kindred spirit. It's like my friend and I were made to be friends.

I have a handful of friends that I love and adore sooooo much. Friends that I try hard to stay in contact with because of distance. Friends that I love to be with and hang out with. Friends that love me. Friends that I really would willingly give up my life for in a split second no questions asked. Friends that mean everything to me. Friends that I could not imagine my life without. I value and love and treasure deeply all my friends and the friendships I have with those I call my friend.

But this friend is someone that happened to come into my life in the most natural, unprovoked way. I'm not even sure either one of us was seeking the other out to friendship.

I always sort of envied people that had that kind of relationship with each other. You know that kind where when you see them together, you just know they are meant to be friends. The kind of friendship that last forever. The kind of friendship that when you're with the person everything else that might be wrong in your life is okay. The kind of friendship that has an unspoken comfortableness. The kind where even if you're not talking and silent, you still feel connected in the heart and soul. She (this friend) is like a sister to me.

A friendship like Anne and Diana's or Lorelei and Suki from Gilmore girls or Meredith and Cristina from Grey's Anatomy, or Monica and Rachel from Friends, or Ruth and Naomi from the Bible. A true, honest, unfailing, spirit to spirit kind of friendship.

I am so glad that I found my kindred spirit and that we have the rest of our lives to be that way. I am at total peace and comfort when we are together. And that's the kind of friendship that you never let go of.

Friends

In the last few months I have really given hard thought and consideration to my friends and what kind of friend I am. In the last couple of years I have had some friends that I got offended by and considered them not my friends anymore. But then I realized that part of the problem was me. Instead of being mad and hurt and angry at these friends, I should have talked to them and apologized for my part (because a realationship is ALWAYS 2 ways. It takes 2 to tango...so to speak) in what I felt was the offence. I feel like I've wasted some time on being angry. I am happy to say that I have apologized and tried to make ammends with all these friends but I always feel like our friendship will not be the same. I suppose it would be unfair of me to expect the relationship to be the same as before. It suffered "damage" and sometimes it takes a really long time to heal that. It, I feel, has helped me to be a much more forgiving person. Nobody is perfect so why should I think that my friendships should be perfect. It makes me feel bad that I had to waste time on feeling the way I did when I could have been building up the friendships rather than 'damaging' them. I just hope that these friends know that I truly am sorry and that I really do want to be friends. Obviously we were friends in the first place for a reason. Anyway...
I cleaned today for Matt's co-worker. It was utterly and absolutley exhausting but I know that he really needed it done and I know that he appreciated it. It was a HUGE job! 8 and a half hours of standing, bending, wiping, etc, etc. I did not sit down at all except to eat lunch (which took me 2 minutes) and to eat some yougurt (1 minute). I have not stood that long, consistently, for a really long time. By the end, I could barely sweep the floors it was so tiring. He has 2 houses (right beside each other, thank goodness) and he lives in one and the other one is empty right now because he's trying to sell it. He's getting married in 2 weeks so he's a little busy with getting that together. If I didn't like him or think highly of him, I wouldn't have done the job.
I don't understand or know how guys can live the way they do when they are bachelors. It's SOOOO GROSS!!!! Do guys not know how to clean a dish or sweep the floor or mop or take their shoes off at the door so they don't track in dirt all over the house???? I can't even talk about the bathrooms....I have never, in my life, seen such dirty bathrooms. Guys just don't care, it seems, if their living space is a pigsty. It makes me appreciate married life so much more to know that Matt is capable AND WILLING to clean up after himself. I feel so bad for Matt'sfriend/co-worker because he is NOTa dirty person in any sense of the word. I know he really tries to keep things tidy and moderately clean. It's his house-mates! Obviously he can't clean up after these guys like their mother. Plus, it wouldn't be fair to him. Each person can only do so much. I'm glad that I was taught about cleanliness at an early age and that we are teaching Tanner. I'm glad that it's done.

I have had a bit of a slacker week and have been "lolly-gagging" around. Basically I have just been puttering around and not really been overly productive. I guess over the week I have been, but not all at once like I like to be. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little more productive day.

Well, I think that's it for now.