Great Falls

My trip was so much fun!!! I think I might go again very soon. So here's a little itinerary of our trip. We left on Thursday afternoon and the roads were pretty good but we got a lot of sporadic rain.

We got there and my cousin was putting her 2 boys down to bed so Suzanne and I played with the little baby. Anna is so adorable and every time I see her, she gets bigger and bigger. Her and I share the same middle name after the same person so that's really neat. We got to bed early enough but got woken up WAY too early...lol. Her boys are very early risers and so we got up earlier than we normally do. But that worked in our favor because we got an early start on our shopping. First we hit Target to get some baby stuff for Suzanne's little baby (soon to arrive). When we were at Target, you'll never guess what I found....




That's right root beer lovers, root beer float in a bottle that tastes EXACTLY like a root beer float. This did not disappoint in any degree and I'm glad we only got 1 case (4 bottles in a case) otherwise, this could become a very unhealthy addiction.

Then we went to the Mall so I could go to Bath and Body works. This is what I got:



We headed back for lunch and then we went to the grocery stores because they had amazing sales on this week.



We got 5 lbs of butter for $10 (that's $2 a pound as oppose to the $4.59 butter in Canada)at Albertson's and then we went over to Smith's and got 8 boxes of cereal for $8. Yep, $1 a piece, that's right. Amazing! I think we might use some of our income tax and go there and buy food storage because it's so cheap. Plus, flour is $8.38 for 25 pounds. I was stunned and shocked. I also learned that in some of the states they are actually rationing the flour available. How scary is that???? So stock up now if you can because things are not going to be getting any better. Normally I wouldn't buy the chocolate cereal, but I got it as a treat. It won't last long and for $1, how can you go wrong. They had some snack things on sale too with the 8 items for $8. Things like the scooby do snacks, and fruit roll ups etc. I chose 2 because we are bigger cereal eaters than fruit snack eaters.

Then we headed over to the Golden Corral for some great eats that you have to try when you're there next. And, super cheap for the buffet.

Then we headed over to Barnes and Noble books for browsing. I got Tanner a Dick and Jane reader book that was on sale.

So all in all, it was a great trip and we didn't have to pay duty on stuff. I spent less that $100 and that included Gas. So it was a great trip and I really enjoyed my time with my very good friend, Suzanne. She really is an inspiration to me and so much more mature than me. And it was so fun to be at my cousins and see her. Her house is amazing. She has this beautiful old house that has so much character. I just loved it. Anyways, I just wanted to share my great trip.

Going away

I'm going away for the weekend for a girls weekend with my wonderful friend Suzanne so there won't be a Friday post this week...sorry. But this is what I'm looking forward to:





I LOVE this stuff. It smells so wonderful. I'm also looking forward to getting away for the first time since being married and having Tanner for a girls weekend. I have never been away without them or another member of my family. So I'm pretty excited for that. Anyways, until Monday....have a great weekend!

My Family

We took some family pictures yesterday so I could send them to Bobbi for my winning on her blog. I can't wait to see what she is doing with them but in the mean time I thought I'd post the latest picture of us. It is difficult to go to Wal-Mart or Superstore because Tanner is terrified of the clicking sound when the take the pictures there so it doesn't make for a nice picture. So we will have to settle for less than professional photos until he overcomes that fear or nervousness. We don't really have the money for anything professional so we'll just go with home photos for a while, which is fine. They'll make for an interesting picture album down the road...lol. Enjoy.

Guess what we're getting?

Guess what we're getting??? That's right. This barbeque is ours in May. We have to wait for our tax return but Matt got some money for his birthday as well as some gift certificates to Canadian Tire and this is what we are buying. Ours broke down after a really great 5 years so it's time for a new one. Plus, we used it at least 4-5 times a week every week last summer so we'll need to have one before it gets too hot. We are very excited as this will be our yearly gift we get. Instead of buying each other seperate birthday, anniversary, christmas, holiday gifts, we use the money we could have spent and put it towards on big family gift. One year, we all got bikes, another year we got our digital camera. We couldn't afford one last year so this year is kind of a 2 years worth of a gift. Anyways, for those of you who live nearby, come over any time and we'll barbeque.

5 Favorite Cards.

I really like the sparkly glass technique. It's so easy and really makes a card sparkle.



I love the little details on this card



I just think this is one of the cutest baby cards I thought up on my own.



I love that the sponging makes it look a bit like suede




I love everything about this card.

It's a hard knock life

Here's my problem that I'm facing right now and I've been pretty ho humming about it all week because I can't seem to let it go for some reason. Usually within a few days of something happening, I can let it slide or I realize I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.

First, on Saturday night when I was putting Tanner to bed, he had a toy in his hand and I took it away after I told him it was bed time. What he did...I honestly can't even believe he did this, but he punched....no, not even just a hit, but punched me right in the face! It's the first time that I have ever felt my initial response should be to hit him back but I DIDN'T! I looked him straight in the face and said "Tanner, that is not okay to hit. It's not nice and I don't like it." Then Matt went in and talked to him. Lately, he's been acting out a lot more and acting, and I hate to say it, but it's true, but a spoiled brat. I know he's spoiled more than I'd like him to be and I know that I contribute to that, but so do other people.

Anyways, so I was telling my Mom and older sister this and she (my older sister) said "Well, I guess you better stop spoiling him and change your parenting". I then said that it wasn't just Matt and I but her and Mom and everybody else and this is her response to that "well, we're not going to stop spoiling him because that's what Aunt's and Grandma's do"

WHAT!!!!!!!

I couldn't even believe it.

So Matt and I talked about rules and consequences and these are what we came up with.

1. No hitting-consequence is no special treats, no play dates, no special outings, no extra movies for 1 week.
He can watch his normal up to 2 movies a day but we won't rent a movie or get a movie from the Library as something special.

2. No yelling- consequence is going to room until he's ready to talk nicely. We decided that this is a natural consequence to be removed from where he can yell at people. I've actually told him that if he's going to yell, he can go in his room at yell at his animals and toys if he's frustrated but it's not okay to yell at other people.

3. listening- The consequence for not listening is no movies for 1-2 days. Depending on the severity of not listening will determine how long he goes without movies. For example; if he ran out on the road after we warned him 2 times not to, that would be a 2 day non movie consequence. This one is a bit tricky because if he didn't listen when asked to pick up his toys, the natural thing we'd do is take his toys away. Or if he didn't eat his supper, then he doesn't eat. Or if he doesn't put on his p.j.s, then he'll be cold in the night, etc. We just find that if he's not doing something that we are trying to teach him, if we warn him that we'll take away his movies, he usually will be more willing.

So here's the problem, even though I know that Matt and I are ultimately the parents and we have talked about these rules for not just Tanner but all of us, do you think that the 1 week consequence is too severe for hitting?

When I told someone about this today they said that they thought that having stuff taken away is a little extreme for a 4 year old.

We just don't know what else to do. How do you teach someone not to hit when they continue to do it? And what's the "natural" consequence for hitting someone? I'm at a loss here because I've never even babysat a child that had a hitting problem.

And then the other thing is what if he hits in that week that he's lost privileges? Do you make it longer?

I really need some help because I'm so frustrated and feeling completely and utterly incapable of being a good parent and teaching him that these things are not okay.

Maybe there are other factors in my feelings of total inadequacy as a person in whole. Maybe because it's that time, or maybe because I had a really crappy time in Calgary (except when I was at Jamies), or maybe because I really am failing right now in life. Maybe because Matt told me last night that he really wants another baby, maybe because I feel like I can't catch my breath for a minute, maybe because I wish Matt could find a job that he actually would get hours for.

My Mom use to have these days every once in a blue moon that she called her "mad Bill days". She just got mad inside because my Dad is gone and wasn't there to help her co-parent and be the support that she needed. Well, I like to call my days "mad at life" days. And that's what I'm having is a mad life day...okay, it's a mad at life week.

I just wish the world could stop for just a minute for me to find my bearings again. I'm really worried about my sister going to Europe for 6 weeks with a friend. I don't know why, but it really worries me. I'm very concerned.

Okay, so this wasn't meant to be a "feel sorry for me" post. I just really need some suggestions on the hitting and consequence thing. That's all.

On a positive note, I DID get my running shoes today, which I am SOOOOO excited about. These are them:









**Don't forget, if you haven't already, to post a comment on the pay it forward post if you want to win something.

Until next time...

100

As I logged on, I saw that I have reached the 100 post mark! I can't believe that I've written 100 posts already.

For those of you who were on blogger around Christmas time might remember that I had mentioned that I couldn't find our tree stand. Luckily, my Aunt gave us one she had for the time being. Well, a couple of weeks ago I went out to the shed to get the bassinet to lend it to someone and had to move some things. Low and behold, there was our tree stand under some things of Tanner's. I didn't look there because I thought "I would never put the tree stand with something so random and of Tanners". Turns out I'm a bit of an airhead and did put it with Tanner's toys.

I had to de-junk for Spring Break. I needed to go through all my baby stuff and sort through it because I'm letting it all go. I'm going to have a big yard sale, maybe in May, to get rid of it. Maybe I'll give it to some of my friends who are pregnant if they have boys. The toys I'm definitely selling, but the clothes I'm back and forth a bit on. If my sister gets pregnant and had a boy, then I could give it to her, but who knows. I just needed to go through it and sort it all. Plus I needed to get out his next age clothes. He's in size 4 now, or at least starting to be. I pulled out some summer stuff and dress stuff.

At the doctors on Tuesday, he weighed in at a whopping 31 lbs and 38 inches tall! LOL!!!! As if that's big at all. His BMI is 41 ( I think that's what they said it is) so he's a lean machine.

The dentist appointment didn't go so well. I talked to him about it and he seemed fine with it, but then we got in there and he freaked out, screaming and yelling.

On the flip side, his speech appointment went amazing! She was so impressed with how good he was talking and how well his 't' sound is as well as his 's' sound. They played this really fun game called puppy racers. It was SOOOOO much fun to watch him play it. He was laughing so much. He was just so animated and fun.

So I guess that's it for now.

I won...pay it forward

I won a contest over at Bobbi's blog and so now here's how it works:



All you do here is leave a comment and you are entered. I will draw 3 names from all the comments and mail you something I made from the heart :) If you are one of the winners, you need to then do this same contest on YOUR blog - draw 3 names and send them something (bought or handmade), and so on. In other words....Pay it forward! Does this make sense?

I will make cards along with something else for the winners.

Here are my 5 random things from last week. 5 things that I keep in every one of my 4 purses:

1. Hair elastic
2. Wallet
3. Chapstick
4. Tanner's epi pen (this get transferred from whichever purse I'm using because I have to always have it with me)
5. A pen

I have a couple of other things too but those are the 5 off the top of my head.

I'm signing off for a few days. I have to get some things sorted through and I am committing to that and not my blog. I am going to keep the pay it forward open until the end of the month because then I can get something really great from the states when I go down there. So, have a great week, and we'll talk to you all next week...or when I finally get my stuff sorted.

WINNER!!!!

I went over to random.org to help determine the winner and the winner is....

ADRIENNE WIGG!!!

Adrienne, I will drop the cards in the mail when I return home from Calgary in 2 days. I wasn't thinking at the time and I should have brought them up because pretty much everyone who left a comment that wasn't from home lives in Calgary...silly me.

Anyways, congratulations to Adrienne. Something I know that is very deserved for you lately...lol.

Thank you to everyone who left a comment and told me what your favorite card was. Cards are always such a nice personal touch to give to others.

I will post more later this week. We are in Calgary for 3 appointments so I'm going to be pretty busy. I forgot my Friday 5 but I'll post that when I get back.

OH!! If any of you see Matt tomorrow....it's his birthday so wish him a happy birthday. We won't be there with him until supper time so if he's out and about, I know it will make his day.

Until next time...

Thank you for the Birthday wishes

I wanted to post this earlier, but life was crazy busy today. I had to make the parent snack (yes, you read that right. It's a snack for the parents) and it was a very time consuming thing. I made the cake balls that Bobbi found via Amy's website. I didn't take a picture of mine because they turned out NOTHING like THESE. So I won't even disappoint anyone with a pathetic picture. They were yummy and I took my sorry excuse for them to pre-school. But next time, I'll have to figure out how to make them smooth. Mine were all crumbly and...just trust me on this one.

Yesterday, my 29th birthday, for those of you who didn't know, was a wonderfully surprisingly great day. I didn't anticipate much because this is the very first birthday that I haven't been with my family. Even last year, I planned to be up there for my birhtday, but this year it just wasn't feasible. So I didn't expect too much. Well, can I just say it was probably the BEST birthday I've ever had. I first woke up (I guess that's a good thing) and Matt and Tanner both wished me a happy birthday. Then we went over to my Aunty Elaines to make cinnamon buns together. I wanted buns instead of a cake so that's what we did.

My Aunt is an amazing cook. If you haven't read my earlier entries let me just tell you that she NEVER measures anything when cooking. NEVER!!! Even when we are cooking bread together, she just puts it in and her stuff turns out amazing. She is probably, next to my Mom, the best cook ever. I can't say enough good things about her. I just love her so much. Anyways, so we made buns but it took like 5 hours. Between the mixing and the rising and the cooking, it was a long process. While I was there, one of my friends came over with a gift for me. She doesn't know my Aunt but knew I'd be there and found out where she lived and came to give me this:




It was so thoughtful for her to come and find me and give this to me. It was totally unexpected. Then I came home and my good friend, Sharon, brought me over this nice treat:




So amazing, my friend Sharon. I teased her back in February about doing this for valentines day because the parented pre-school teacher was describing it and I leaned over and jokingly said "I expect you to make this for me for Valentines day". So I got it on a better day. So thank you. Oh, she also gave me money to contribute to my "shoe wish" fund.

Just a quick explanation on my shoe wish fund. I would really love to have a good pair of running shoes. I have a $20 Wal-Mart pair. They aren't worn out or anything, and they still are in good condition, but I really wanted to have a quality pair while I'm taking this running thing seriously. I got money from both my Mom and Aunty Carolyn which was enough, with Sharon's money, to get a quality pair of shoes. I haven't decided which ones yet, but when I do, I'll be sure to post the pictures of my new jewels.

I got a lot a really sweet message from Suzanne, wishing me a happy birthday, my Mom and sisters called and sang happy birthday and my Aunt Carolyn did as well. Then when I went into work that night (I know, yes, I worked), the girls had written happy birthday on the whiteboard and 2 of them bought me this Fruitopia strawberry Kiwi drink that I use to love drinking at Subway when I first worked there in Calgary and when I told them the story, I jokingly said that that's what I wanted for my birthday was this drink. I got 3 bottles of it so I am in heaven. I'm not a big juice drinker, but sometimes I just want a sip or 2.

Then when I got home from work, there was a card in front of the computer screen. When I opened it, there was American money in it from 2 very dear friends for my trip to Great Falls in a couple of weeks. I was completely taken off guard.

Then tonight, Matt and I were able to do a session at the Temple together. It was so wonderful and I was so happy that we went. We really felt good and peaceful and calm there tonight and it was a nice session. Only 16 people, including us, were in the session. I sat in the front, which was a treat for me because we usually end up near the back.

So overall, it's been a terrific birthday. I have been amazingly blessed and continue to be so grateful for all that everyone does for me. I am so eternally grateful for all my friends and all the people that love me and think about me. It's not very often that more than just my family does much for my birthday. My best friend, Jamie, and I exchange birthday gifts, but other than that, it's usually always just been my family. I'm grateful that my friends were thinking of me and took the time to show me that they care. Okay, now that I'm all welled up, I'll stop.

I just have to say about the mouse picture...I actually wasn't even going to take a picture of it, but then I thought "why not?". I bet no one could picture this and I am not very good at describing things like that so I wanted to capture it and show everyone. I knew he wasn't going to run away and try to bite me. I had thrown a ball and sock at him and he didn't move so I knew I would be able to take the picture.

Sorry Lynn, for making you gag on your food. I hope you were okay.

Well, until next time...

Tagged by Sharon

Attached or Single: Attached. For 8 years

B- Best friend: I would have to say that I have a few best friends. Meghan is my first true best friend. The one that's been around the longest. Jamie is my best friend from Calgary and although I mean no lost love to any of you here in town, I would say Sharon and Suzanne are my new best friends. Oh, and Trish is another Calgary best friend.

C- Cake or Pie: Cake. I don't particularly like pie all that much.

D- Day of Choice: Thursday because it goes by so fast

E- Essential Item: GUM! I have to have gum everywhere I go. I don't even chew it that often, but I need to have it with me at all times in case I want to chew it.

F- Favorite color: Purple and Yellow

G- Gummi Bears or Worms: Bears. Worms are gross somehow.

H- Hometown: It use to be Calgary but now it's Raymond

I- Indulgence(s): Subway, card making, I think that's it.

J- January or July: January because July is too hot and I pefer cold over hot any day

K-Kids: 1 boy.

L- Life is Incomplete Without: Matt and Tanner

M-Marriage Date: January 28, 2000

N- Number of Siblings: 3 sisters, and 1 brother in law on my side. 4 sister in laws and 4 brother in laws on Matt's side

O- Oranges or apples: apples with cinnamon and sugar mixture on them

P- Phobias or Fears: the dark

Q- Quotes: I like all the common ones: if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Live like it was your last day.

R- Reason to Smile: My life

S- Season: Spring and Fall

T- Tag Seven: Anyone who wants to do this.

U- Unknown Fact about Me: I have grey hair already

V- Vegetarian or Meat Lover: More vegatarian than meat lover

W- Worst Habit: rolling my eyes, or spending more time on the comptuer than I should

X- X Rays or Ultrasounds: I LOVE ultrasounds

Y- Your Favorite Food: Spaghettii, and PB&J sandwiches

Z-Zodiac: Aries, Matt is an Aries too...lol

Misunderstood

In my previous post I realize that I talked about comments but I just want to say that I know a few people that get at least 6-10 comments on their posts on a regular basis and I was just wondering out loud what makes a post "commentable". I do appreciate the comments I get and for people reading about my life, it was just a question put out there. It wasn't meant as a complaint...tho when I read it, I know it sounds like that. I was just wondering why some people get so many comments, and others get none or only 1 or 2. Sorry for not making myself more clear. It was a semi-rhetorical question.

Fly protected car

Yesterday as I was looking for Tanner's tent thing...which can I say has been VERY successful last night and it worked...he had climbed in the car. Normally, this is totally fine and it doesn't really bother me. We played in the car when we were kids and we were perfectly fine so I don't worry about Tanner when I can see him right there. It beats trying to chase him around keeping him in the yard and not wandering down the street. So all of a sudden I smell something. My dear, lovely, Sweet, kind, considerate, gentle Tanner had sprayed insect repellent (which was still in our car from summer) in the car on the dashboard and on the back window. At least no bugs will come in our car. The car has been airing out during the day with the windows fully open. What a lovely treat...lol.

I was thinking today, what makes a good blog post in which people comment a lot. Is it a lot of friends or connections? Is it interesting things being said? Is it just the day? Maybe the length of the post? I seem to post a lot but don't get as many comments. Why is that I wonder....am I too honest? Am I too abrupt? Do I not write well? Am I boring? Are people afraid to comment? To me, it doesn't matter if I know a person or not, if I think they posted something that I think about to and or have an opinion on, I'll post a comment. I usually tell them, if I don't know them, how I came across their blog or who I know that knows them. Are YOU afraid of posting a comment???? I wont' bite, I promise. And it doesn't even bother me if you have something to say that contradicts what I post. I like to know who my readers are.

On another note, a lot of people have posted about Sterling Low. It made me realize just how big of an impact a young person can make in the world. Not just him, but all of us. Those who know the Low family have nothing but kind, loving, thoughtful, generous things to say about them. I keep thinking over and over the line in the Hymn "tho hard to you this journey may appear, all is well, all is well...". What a blessing it is to know that the Lord loves us enough to have provided the Plan of Happiness for us and the knowledge that we can be with our loved ones again. The Lord will never leave us comfortless if we but turn to him for comfort and peace. I hope and pray daily that comfort and peace will bless the lives of everyone in the Low family. Having gone through something so tragic is a very difficult thing. I think a lot of people think of the parents, siblings and wife first, but it's important to remember that he was a nephew and soon to be uncle, a grandson, a cousin and friend. I think sometimes those people get left behind when someone dies. I hope that everyone in the family, immediate and extended, feel that comfort and love and peace. I know that he must have been a very valiant servant to have been called home so early. There is a greater work for him on the other side, and tho it is difficult to see or understand the big picture sometimes, it is a blessing to know that we will all see each other in the next life. I can't wait for that day to see the people that I love that I've lost. What a joyous day that will be.

So, I think that's all for now.

Pictures, events, and a draw

There has been a lot that has happened in the last few days so this may be a big, jumbled post, but bear with me.

On Sunday we went to my Aunt's for dinner and Tanner saw the ensign and said "It's President Monson...Yea!!! We follow the prophet". It was so sweet.

OH WAIT WAIT...the night before the reason I was up so late was because of this little sneaky devil



I came home from work and saw that the mouse trap under the computer desk was flipped over and so I went a little closer to see if the mouse was in it...nope. So I went to put something down on the counter and I hear this little "squeak, squeak". When I turned around, there was the mouse on the back of the loveseat just sitting there. I threw a sock and ball at it and it didn't move. So I went and woke Matt up (this is at 12:30am) and he put it in a bag and put it in the garbage. He discovered it was injured and put it out of it's misery before he threw it out. I HATE mice!

Anyways, so then yesterday I thought of a great idea of how to get Tanner to sleep in his room. We bought this tent thing at IKEA a few years back for him to play in and it ended up just holding all his stuffed animals. When we moved here, I had put it away thinking nothing of it. So I thought "if I get it out, I wonder if Tanner will sleep in it". So yesterday, I asked him if I pulled out his tent, would he sleep in his big boy bedroom in his tent. He of course was excited about this and couldn't wait for me to get it set up. So these are his new sleeping digs:




Yesterday, I went into the new, local quilt shop, which, by the way, has BEAUTIFUL fabric. Probably the most beautiful I've ever seen. I love this store and I think it will quickly become a favorite place of mine. Anyways, I bought a magazine that had some really cute apron patterns...I have a little fetish for aprons lately. I had my name entered into a weekly draw and guess what???? I WON!!! This is what I won:





The fabric on the top (the brown polka dotted stuff, the striped one and the 2 other polka dot fabric), is what I'm thinking of making a duvet cover out of. I think I'd like it to be reversible so I'll do the polka dots on one side and the stripes on the other. I have a picture of what I want it to look like in my mind but I can't really explain it. ALSO....my name will be entered for a sewing machine at the end of the month! Can you even stand it??? I can't. That would be so exciting. I don't have a sewing machine and my Mom is suppose to be getting one of the 3 she has repaired for me but she just hasn't had the time. I think I'm more excited for that then tomorrow.

So because I'm feeling really really really good today, I'm having a draw of my own today. 5 cards for a lucky individual. All you have to do is tell me in the comments section what has been your favorite card you have recieved and if you send cards yourself. I will keep the draw open until Sunday. I'll post the winner on Monday. Only 1 post on the contest will be counted. Here is a picture of the cards. There is a thank you, birthday, friend, love and misc. card.




So I hope you all enjoy this fun filled post.

Afraid

Hearing about people dying is always a very difficult for me for a lot of reasons. Mostly, I think, becaue it puts my life in perspective and makes me think about what I would do in that kind of situation. Death has always been a very prevelant thing in my life (I know that sounds really horrible, but it feels like people and family members die like flies in my family) and it's sometimes really really hard. I was thinking about this family friend of ours who's son died this last week.

Now before you think I'm wallowing in self pity, please know that I AM NOT. For some reason the situation around the death of this very young person evokes A LOT of feelings.

I thought about what I would do and how my life would be different if that were me. The bottom line whenever I think about death is that I am afraid. Terrified, actually. I, for a long time, have not liked going to sleep because I am afriad I or someone in my house might die when I am asleep. I'm not afraid of death itself...in terms of meeting the Savior and seeing my Dad again, but the reason I am afriad is because:

1. I honestly don't think anyone else could love me as unconditionally as Matt does. I don't think that I have been the easiest person to love and I know that he loves me no matter what and he always tells me I'm perfect to him. I'm not sure my heart would ever be full again without him in my life.

2. I think that I've had my fair share of death in my immediate family. Losing my Dad...well, that's a whole other post which I would never write about because it is such a personal, intimate thing for me that I would never choose to expose my feelings on that to "bloggerland" stalkers.

3. I COULD NOT ever leave Tanner. Now I know what I'm about to say may come off egotistical or arrogant but I'm sure those of you who know me and my life, will understand where it is coming from. I truly don't believe that anyone else in this whole world is as capable of taking care of Tanner or loving him like I do. I don't believe that anyone else could ever truly appreciate the struggles that we have endured to have him here and to get him to where he is and who he is. I just would be sick if Matt go re-married and she was horrible and spiteful or resentful of our experience and journey with Tanner.

4. I am afraid to be alone. That is one of my deepest fears. I just can't be alone. I don't think that I could start over again with the whole dating thing etc. That would be so hard, I think. I'm not very young...I'm not old, either, but it would take more effort now.

5. We can't afford for any of us to die. That sounds terrible, but I don't know how we'd pay for a funeral. So that's my sanity right now is knowing that we can't literally afford for any of us to die.

I'm sorry that this is a bit of a morbid post, I just needed to write down my personal feelings on the situation. This post is a bit more intimate than my normal posts but this is just who I am and what I feel.

On a different note here are a couple of Tanner sayings:

When his friend Shelby came to the door he ran to the bathroom (where I was at) and yelled "MOM, MOM, my girlfriend is here!"

Then later that evening, we were getting ready to go to Cardston to the high school play and he said "Who's going to babysit me while you and Daddy are gone?" and I said "No one is, you're coming with us" and his cute face lit up and he said "I get to come?". He loves going to Cardston and know's it a special place and he loves seeing the Temple. We can tell he's excited to go there already. We take him there for pictures and last year we went for a picnic there. We're going to try and do that again this summer. I think it's a really special thing to be able to take him there. Even if he can only go inside the foyer or on the lawn. He know's it's a special place.

Work was so slow tonight and so I got A LOT done. We have this weekly cleaning chart to do and I did all of it (except 4 things) on Wednesday because it was slow that night too. Well, tonight, I re-did all the things again plus did the 4 things I didn't get to on Wednesday. Plus, I cleaned a bunch of other things too. It was such a nice feeling to be able to get it all done. Sometimes the other girls are not as productive and then it leaves little time to do the extra stuff that could be done if they'd stop chit chatting or texting their friends while sitting around doing NOTHING!. Aghh...there's a reason it's called W-O-R-K people. It's not a slack off job. If you can't mulit-task and chat and work (meaning cleaning) then don't chat. Anyways, enough said about that. It's just that the girl I worked with tonight is like that ALL the time and that's why I think I get more done when I'm working with her because I try to do all the things I know she won't. She usually just watches me clean. Which is fine by me. Okay, now I'm done the work rant for real.

I have an amazing husband. When I came home on Tuesday, he was home and had cleaned the whole house. Plus he usually makes supper now and he let's me sleep in after a night shift on the weekend. He's so wonderful. I just really really really love him.

Okay, so that's it for now. Until later.

Unfair

I realize that it probably wasn't fair that I singled out certain people in my post about my 5 favorites. I just want to make it clear that I DO enjoy reading everyone's blogs and it's not because I don't like you that you didn't make the top 5 on the list. So to be fair, I will write something that I like about everyone's blog that is on the sidebar.

Kim: I love that you have your pregnancy counter on your blog. I love seeing it grow.

Rebecca: I love your pictures and reading about your life.

Lahni: I really love the videos you put on your blog

Malauney: I love that even though you think you have nothing interesting to say (which I don't agree with) that you keep blogging and keep us updated.

Tara: I love that I can read and feel connected years after we first met. I enjoy hearing about your life and what's happening.

Adrienne: I love reading your blog and the feeling of real life I feel when i read it. You are very real and I like reading about the everyday in your life.

Jen: I love that you always seem to have positive things to say.

Sarah: I like your layout on your blog and all the pictures. They aren't always of your kids and I like that.

Juliette: You life is so interesting to read about. Though you don't think that it is, I love reading what you endure. You are like a pioneer to me (in a good way).

Michelle: I am amazed at how well you handle your life and how successful you are in life.

Julie: You are just all over an interesting person. You have a lot of talent and a lot of knowledge on a lot of different things.

Amanda: I love your stories of Slade and your pictures are always fun to look at.

Brooke: I love that both you and Marc post on your blog. Your blog is the only one that I know where both partners blog.



I think that's everyone.

unbelievable

I was reading my friend, Christal's, blog this morning and what she posted...this is unfathomable to me. I can barely believe that this is true but it is. What is this world coming to????

On a different note, I found out this morning that a family that I grew up knowing, their son died a couple days ago. He was, I think about, 23 and married less than a year. I can't even imagine what this family is going through. I know that losing my Dad was very difficult, but to loose a sibling/son at such a young age...it's hard to grip my brain around it. My prayers go out to them at such a difficult time. He must have been a very valiant servant of the Lord to have the Lord call him home at such a young age. From what I know, he passed away in his sleep so at least it wasn't a painful thing. Well, I don't know that for sure, but I just assume that it wouldn't be. It is such an amazing blessing to be a member of the church and know without a doubt that we will see our loved ones again and that the Lord has a bigger plan for all of us. Though losing a loved one is a tremendous heartache, it is so wonderful to know that the Lord loves us and that maybe, perhaps, they are needed more on the other side.

Anyways, that's it for now. OH!!! I almost forgot my friday 5.

I will tell you my 5 favorite blogs that I stalk...in random order.

1. Bobbi-Jo...because she always has such great ideas.

2. Tiffany..because I love the way she is sarcastic and real

3. Christal...because she has lots of great things to say and I LOVE the music on her blog. I also love her pictures. Pictures are important to me, even though I don't post personal pictures, if I like the pictures on a blog, I'll check back more often. Weird...I know.

4. Jamie...because she is one of my best friends and I love her craftiness

5. Sharon...because I always feel when I read her blog, we are having a conversation. She writes how she talks. And she is very whitty.

I do check out all my other friends blogs every day, but for some reason, these are the ones I get most excited about. Maybe also because they post more regularly too. But not to make anyone feel bad. I do enjoy all my other friend blogs These are just 5 of the ones that are my favorite.

I hope everyone is having a great spring day!

Just wait...

Come back and check my blog out later today (maybe late afternoon). Do I have a post for you!!!!! I'm just running out the door so I can't post it now.

Still here

I just wanted to say that I'm still here. Just not too much to say. Just going through another "thinking" or what I like to think of as growing process. Trying to be patient in finding out what's happening with Matt's job and where our life is going to be in the next little bit. I'm not stressed about it. Matt is moreso. It's funny that we rarely seem to feel stressed or worried at the same time. We just take turns and this time, it's his turn to be stressed and mine to be the calm, rational, realistic one. I haven't been feeling that great lately. NO! I AM NOT pregnant so get the thought out of your heads. I can't sleep and I'm tired (I know, from the lack of sleep I'm sure). I'm not feeling as motivated to do things either. I'm just, as I like to say when I feel slow, chugging along.

I think I need to get on the treadmill very soon or have a run outside. Maybe tomorrow when Matt get's home...

OH! Could someone tell me how to add a link in a post. I would be really appreciative. Thanks. Like if I said go here and the word here is highlighted to take you directly to a link...if that makes sense.