I speak Spanish?

Before I forget these I have to get them down.

We went into Pet Smart (or should I say Pet DUMB!...no animals!) and we went to look at the fish and Tanner says to the lady working in the fish/reptile department: "I speak Spanish". Not even a hello or anything. He just flat out said this. It was too funny.

FYI: He does NOT speak Spanish...that is why this is funny. He knows "Dora" spanish which is clearly a limited amount.



On Sunday

Tanner: Why do I have this cold?

Me: I don't know. Maybe you got it when you were in Calgary

Tanner: I know where I got it.

Me: Where?

Tanner: At the zoo.

Me: oh really? (I wouldn't be surprised at this point)

Tanner: Yeah, I got it at the zoo from the dinosaur. I'm allergic to the robotic dinosaur there. He gave me this cold.

Me: (trying SUPER hard not to laugh too much because he was quite serious about his response) Oh, well, I guess you should stay away from robotic dinosaurs then.

Tanner: NOOOO!

He had his grade one orientation today. His teacher seems really nice and I've heard she's good.

Now to FINALLY enjoy the nice weather.

Soemthing funny

My Mom had this at her house and so I copied it...

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow ear? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is 1:1. If you have two bodies, your ratio is 2:1, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can think of a singe one, sorry. My philosophy is: no pain...Good!

Q:Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! food are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they are permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit ups if you want a bigger stomach

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel good food around

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather a skid in sideways-a glass of wine in one hand, chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up , totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, what a ride'.

And for those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

What a difference

A year really makes a difference. As I dropped Tanner off in Calgary yesterday, I was thinking about where I was last year at the same time and let's just say it was not in a good place. Matt was jobless and I was suffering from some serious depression because of where our lives were. My Mom took Tanner for a few days so I could have a break from life and it was very much needed. And now this year, Matt's working and our relationship is good...he's such a good, hard worker and he really wants the best for his family. He really tries hard at everything he does and very rarely complains. I know he really hates something when he says even one thing negative about it. It makes me realize that I complain way more than I think I do. He never has anything bad to say about anything and when I start complaining or whining about certain things, he just lets me vent and then says something like, well, who cares...you're a good person and you're just trying your best. I love that man!
I feel like such a retard lately because I took Tanner to Doctor last week to get a referral for and ENT specialist and it was a resident that came and looked at him initially. When he was done I asked if the Doctor was coming in and he said that only if I wanted him to but that he (the resident) was a doctor. My response was "oh, good". OH GOOD!!!!! What in the world! I was just caught off guard because normally when a resident looks at him when were anywhere else (the ACH or his pediatrician in Calgary) the normal doctor comes in and looks at him as well.

THEN...as if that wasn't bad enough, I had a pap (I know TMI) today and just before he (the same resident who saw Tanner last week) left the room, he told me the gown and cover up were under the pillow and to put them on. I was a little confused because normally unless you're having a full physical (which I wasn't) you just undress from the bottom down. So I did just that and then when the nurse came in I said "I don't need to take my top off do I?" She said no just as the resident came in. Holy embarrassing! I was just confused because when he said to put the gown on, I thought "why do I need the gown on...maybe he thinks it's a full physical". I think I will be on my death bed before I go back to the doctor again. It was far too embarrassing. Hopefully I'll have an exceptionally healthy year and not have to go back for Tanner or I for a year.

So next week I have major company. My Mom, older sister, Amy, my Aunt Carolyn, my younger sister, Megan, and her son Emerson, and my Aunt and Uncle from Utah are all coming to my place for the Raymond Parade! Plus, my Mom and her 2 sisters are having their parents sealed to each other and then being sealed with their brother (who previously passed away) to their parents. It will be a wonderful thing. I'm really excited. I don't know why but I think about how sad it has been that they were not sealed together as a family until now. It makes me feel even more grateful that I am sealed to my family forever. Well, needless to say, I have some major cleaning to do. My sister, Amy, HATES HATES dusty things so I have to dust. I have to say, I'm not a big duster. Thankfully, I don't have a huge house to dust millions of little areas. Then on Monday, Matt and I will clean for our own FHE activity. The lawn will be needing to be mowed, but that takes us about 1 hour tops if we both do it. If he does the back and I do the front, it's easy. I am going to clean as I go in the next couple days and just do a final cleaning on Monday. I know, what a boring life I lead...lol. Well, I should get going. I have scripture study to catch up on.

Have a great day!

OH! everyone should check out my sister's website. It's so fun! Just click on "Megan Doll" on the side bar. You won't be sorry.

I'm a midget

Today Tanner had a kindergarten readiness "test"...seriously?!...No comments from me on that one. Anyways, the teacher handed the parents this package as we were leaving. It contained some memories of each child's year in pre-school. In it, they had made this book of memories. It was so cute. One of the pages was a page all about Mom. These are some of the things that Tanner said: I was 30 years old (correct), I am 1 foot tall (um, hello...I may occasionally act like a baby, but do I look like one?) and weigh 100 lbs (so so so off). My favorite thing to eat is Kraft Dinner (I think he was thinking of himself on that one), when I'm not busy looking after him I like to clean (that's pretty accurate) and that I would like to talk to Susanne (yep, I always want to talk to Susanne so that one was right on). Now for Matt: He is 17 (I sure hope not), Weighs 40 lbs (that's only 7 more pounds than what Tanner weighs) and is 10 feet tall. His favorite food is deer meat (100% right) and his favorite sport is hockey.

So there you have it friends, I am a fat midget and Matt is a skinny, probably not even there, giant.

More later.

Fired

I know I haven't written in 2 days and so I'm firing myself....haa haaa, just kidding. Things here have been crazy and busy. Just a few stories to share. My Aunt Carolyn (some of you know who she is) fell last week and had a very very serious break in her shoulders. The doctors told her that although it was good that she didn't need surgery, there's a possibility she may never regain full range of motion. Which is almost devastating considering the fact that she enjoys quilting so much. So she's a little fragile right now and needs a lot of help, therefore she is living at my Mom's for 6-8 weeks. So for her to come to my Mom's party, my Mom felt that it would be better if she was in a wheelchair so people don't bump her and we can get her to the bathroom etc. So my Mom called up her work and asked them if she could borrow a wheel chair. Of course the ADORE my Mom and agreed right away. So when they brought it to my Mom's guess who decided that he needed to "ride" on it? That's right...Tanner. It was so cute. It reminded me of when I was younger and we would all argue over who was going to ride in my Dad's wheelchair and who was going to push Dad etc. It was a great memory.

We also went to Pizza Hut yesterday because my Aunt was sleeping and for those of you who know Tanner, know he has a hard time being quiet. So we took advantage of the buffet they have for lunch to keep Tanner out of the house and eat. While we were there Tanner informed me that he did NOT like this restaurant and that he wanted to go to McDonalds...which was right across the street. Then he told Matt who hadn't been at the table when he told me, that he LOVED this place. What a goof!

OH, and this is a common thing for Tanner while traveling...as we were driving into Vulcan, I asked Tanner, who was watching a movie in the car, if he needed to go pee. Of course he said no. I mean, who would want to stop and leave their beloved movie to pee???? So as we get 5 minutes past Vulcan, he says "I need to pee are we almost in Vulcan?" Of course I had to tell him that we already passed vulcan and that he would have to go on the side of the road. He refused this idea and said he needed to pee on a potty. I knew Mossleigh was coming up and so I asked if he could hold it (he held himself from Clareholm to Raymond one time). He said he could but then he asked 5 minutes later if we were there. So I knew the urgency of the situation. I had in the car a large water cup...a tupperware one. So I stopped the car, emptied the water and had him pee in the cup and dumped it out. He actually did it. So from now on I'm going to carry a small bucket in the car. Don't worry, I sanitized the cup and washed it out a few hundred times.

So that has been our little adventures for the last few days. I am getting ready for my Mom's party so I should go and get to the 3 salads I'm making. Until later or next time...

Movie Review

Last night Matt and I went on a date! Yes, that's right. It's been a very long time because of the money thing but we had a nice dinner and rented 2 really great movies that I would highly recommend. Both are very clean and don't have language.




This one is very relateable for me because of the facial deformity issue. Of course I am pretty sure I'm not the kind of mother that Cathrine O'Hara's character is. But I really loved this one. Plus James McAvoy is in it and I really enjoy him in movies.






This one was pretty funny. I really love Donny Osmond's character. So much fun! Anyways, it is rated G...after all it's Disney that does it, so it was clean. I wonder if all fathers feel this way about their little girls.

So enjoy the movies if you choose to watch them. They are both very good.

Swimming Pool job???

This conversation just happened a few minutes ago

Tanner: Maybe you could get a job at the swimming pool and pay me and mommy to go to the pool (Matt took Tanner over to the pool to see when public swimming was)

Matt: If I worked at the pool, people would drown because Daddy doesn't know how to swim

Tanner: But you could still work there.

A weather forecast

I have to give full credit to my cousin Cindy Russell, this is a note from her. I just totally agree with it...plus it's funny. Thanks Cindy

I'm spoiled, I know it. Yet I am not ashamed to say what I'm about to say...This winter is killing me. Very slowly, but very surely. Every morning my eyes open to the glare of the snow above my head through the window. With grimace I look over at the clock that stares back at me as though I've done something to it which warrants an eternal attitude of sass and disdain. Its red digits glow at me as if each little bar was a slap in the face. How is it possible to loathe an inanimate object with such intensity that it plants a paranoia in your mind that deludes you into thinking that it relishes in your misery? I hate...I hate that clock. And after braving the drastic shock temperature change of diving from your deliciously warm bed into the stale cold morning air of your room, you get ready and then its out the door...but let me ask you this...What's this "Feels Like" garbage. Let me tell ya something. I don't give a flying, red hot damn if in meteorological terms it is "only" -12 c outside...if it "Feels Like" -24 c - than it's freakin -24 C!! How has windchill ceased to be the only reality in the world of weather? That is the only temperature, friends.When did this start? So you're telling me there's people out there who care what the temperature "really" is... for serious? If so, why are we catering to these morons; who probably never leave their rooms anyway and live off a steady diet of corn chips, Dr. Pepper, Dungeons and Dragons and Internet porn. Why do we fear inconveniencing this demographic by telling them the truth and eliminating superfluous information? What purpose could there possibly be in knowing how cold it would really be if there wasn't an un-Godly wind slowing scraping my face off. Is this some round about way to stuff a "it's really not that cold out" down my throat? Or maybe an attempt to obligate me into some ignorant, "thank-you sir, may I have another" gratitude? I remember coming home from elementary school with my top lip frozen to my winter jacket zipper, no feeling in my extremities with blocks to go and reciting Psalms just to keep conscious; I didn't really care about what the temperature "really" was or just what it "felt like." In my opinion, it's a cruel jab from the meteorologists in their warm ivory towers to make us feel weak and subjugated. And that's what I have to say about that.
You may "Feel Like" your out in -30 weather with that windchill, but really it's only -15...doesn't that make you feel better?

Warning Labels

When I was at my Sister and Brother in laws this last week for Tanner's appointments (which were good for me but not so fun for Tanner, I'll explain later), I was reading this "bathroom" reader that they have. It's basically a book about random things and lists. One of them that I came across was a Warning Label page.

On a can of insect spray: "Harmful to bees."

On a life-saving device: "this is not a life saving device"

On children's cough syrup: "Do not drive or operate machinery"

On a motorcycle mirror: "Objects in mirror are actually behind you"

On garden furniture: "Keep away from damp and sunlight"

On a box of sleeping pills: "May cause drowsiness"

On a milk bottle: "After opening, keep upright"

On a bag of peanuts: "This product contains nuts"

On a water heater: "If building which heater resides is on fire, do not go into building"

On a mattress: "Do not attempt to swallow" (WHAT!!!! This one is the funniest of them all)

On a T.V. remote: "Not dishwasher safe"

On a garden hose : "May cause cancer in California"

On an iron: "Never iron clothes on the body"

On a graduation gown: "Do not wash or dry clean"

On a video came console: "Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury"

On a bottle of aspirin: "Do not take if allergic to aspirin"

On a chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals"

On a birthday card: "Not suitable of children aged 36 months or less

On a wristwatch: "This is not underwear. Do not put in pants"

On a hammer: "Do not use to strike any solid object"

On a curling iron: "For external use only"

This is a laugh for me to read these again. Who thinks of these things.

So about Tanner...we went to speech and he was doing good for about 10 minutes. Then he was kind of fooling around, pushing himself up against the table and his arms buckled and he fell. I caught him but I didn't notice until later that he had scraped his back down the chair when he fell. So he was crying and crying and he fell asleep. It's the first time in all the times of speech that he's done that. So Allison and I discussed his therapy and how I felt about things etc, etc. I'm at the point now where I'm doubting that putting him in the PUF program was the best decision for him. Even though I know it's good for him socially and probably even mentally, he has come home with negative behaviour problems such as hitting and screaming. His hitting we have got to a minimum but his screaming and yelling is out of control right now. I know he gets it from the PUF program because a lot of the kids in his class do the same things. That's the reason they are there. Plus I am a little concerned with his speech because there is no way in my mind that he is getting sufficient amount of one on one speech therapy. His class is 75 minutes and there are 5 other kids in his class as well. So he's most likely getting only about 10-15 minutes one on one time and that, in my eyes, is not enough. He gets at least 40 minutes with Allison at ACH and I could see that he was improving a lot more with that. I am partly to blame because I haven't been working with him at home as much as I was when we were in Calgary. I have resolved to be a little more strict in working with him and being more diligent about it.
I also feel like I'm being pulled in several different directions where his speech is concerned. Plus we haven't been followed up by with the O.T.. I know she has come to the school once but to me, I feel like if they are saying that he has a moderate delay, he needs more consistent O.T. So when the new year comes around, I am going to have a meeting with the program leaders to find out what to do.
I was also asked to watch carefully if Tanner gets headaches. This from his Neurosurgeon and Plastic Surgeon. He hasn't complained before so I'm not anticipating a huge change but they asked me to be more aware of it because it most likely means that there is tightening of things in his head and that means surgery. I'm am positively hopeful and sure that things with his head will be fine. If he needs surgery, then we'll do it. I've done it before and I can do it again. So that's the story with Tanner.
While we were up in Calgary, our car had it's first official vehicle accident. My sister was backing out of her driveway and hit our car. There was barely any damage and I drove it around the city and back home the next day without incident. I know my sister felt bad but it was fine. We've had the car for 5 years and we have had minor bumps and scrapes but no official vehicle to vehicle accident. So that was "exciting".
Well, I think that's it for now. I'll be back in a few days with more "bathroom" randomness.

This is a gooder

Last week in our package of weekly flyer's came the Toys R Us Christmas catalogue. I really haven't had a chance to look at it because I can barely take it away from Tanner long enough to get a good look at it. Well last night when he went to bed at 7:30 I decided I was going to waste time looking at it. I had to laugh at some of the things in it. I will share with you some of the things I found quite funny.

First a digital photo frame with a remote control. So now when your guests least suspect it, you can switch the picture and they think they might be crazy because they are sure there was a different picture there 30 seconds ago but are too embarrassed to ask so they keep quiet. Then later in the evening, there's another picture there...how did that happen??? Mmmm....I wonder.

A nintendo DS game called "Master Chef". Unless it can actually cook gourmet food in real life, I'm not interested. Who comes up with these things?

Digi Glam Makeover. You can change your hairstyle, make up and accessories. It has a built in digital camera so you can give yourself or friends a makeover. I'd like a makeover at least once a week so will it actually do it in real life? What is the purpose of this thing? So you can look different every 20 minutes? To see what you could potentially look like. Show that to your Mother when you want green hair and see what she says.

Roboquad. This is an actual robot with mulit-directional movement capabilities, advanced sensory awareness and advanced movement control. Do I need to even say anything about this one? Could people get any lazier?

Remote control dragon Fly or Bee. Now there's more ways to annoy your parents and siblings with a flying bee/dragon fly that flies inside or outside of the house. Awesome!

Thomas Whistle Lounger. With real "chugga chugga" sounds and train whistle. Wheels really turn. So while watching your favorite show, you can have train sounds and move your "lounger" around. Sounds like fun to me.

Girl Crush Hair Streaker. Now little girls can streak their hair any color they want, whenever they want.

Society has become bombarded with toys of all sorts. Some of them are useful/helpful and even fun. But then there are some of them that I wonder "how can a company get away with such random toys/things?" Like it's a competition to see who can make the neatest, coolest, funnest item. I remember as a child, we didn't have many toys. We had tons and tons and tons of Barbie's and Barbie clothes and accessories. That's pretty much what we all got (except Melany) for Christmases. We had other toys, but not that many. My Mom and Dad and Aunt built us this huge massive Barbie house to play in. Just ask anyone who ever came over, they can attest to how big this thing was. It was a 9 room house that stood about 5 feet tall and 6 feet wide. It had real carpet and wall paper in it. There was even a room or two with lino. It was the sweetest house. We played a lot of house and dress up and store when we were kids. We didn't have the latest and greatest in toys. It makes me realize how spoiled children (including my own) are these days. Why does every child you have need a T.V. in their room? Why does a 6 year old need a Nintendo or Sega or Wii? What happened to good old fashioned imagination and crafts. Lego, trains and dinosaurs for boys and barbies and dress up for girls? In the summer time, we were rarely found inside the house. We ran through the sprinkler, played on the slip and slide, jumped on the trampoline, had fashion shows in the backyard, rode our bikes. We hated to go inside and now, you can't get a kid to even think about leaving the T.V. or the game they're playing. The latest thing I've seen is grade 6's having cell phones, texting their friends. Why in the world does a 12 year old need a phone? Where is that child going that they feel they need a phone? What happened to carrying .25 cents...well, .35 now.

I have also come to realize that I am very much a simple kind of person. When we get a house, there are maybe 2 things we are going to splurge on...a shower head that is one of those super huge ones and Matt wants this type of toilet that has 2 different kinds of flushes. One for small jobs and one for big ones, if you get my drift. But it doesn't really matter to me if I have the latest style of kitchen cupboards, or even a dishwasher. My feelings and theory is that if it's functional, why pay mega bucks on something that is just the style. If it's not broken don't fix it. If it's less expensive and still functional then why not save the extra money. That is my thinking on the subject.

Anyway, that is it for now. I should get back to my catching up that I need to do. Plus I need to make bread because we are on our last half a loaf. I refuse to buy bread, now that I know how to make it and it's probably cheaper to make it. But it's a weekly job that has to be done. So, I'm off until next time.