Friends

In the last few months I have really given hard thought and consideration to my friends and what kind of friend I am. In the last couple of years I have had some friends that I got offended by and considered them not my friends anymore. But then I realized that part of the problem was me. Instead of being mad and hurt and angry at these friends, I should have talked to them and apologized for my part (because a realationship is ALWAYS 2 ways. It takes 2 to tango...so to speak) in what I felt was the offence. I feel like I've wasted some time on being angry. I am happy to say that I have apologized and tried to make ammends with all these friends but I always feel like our friendship will not be the same. I suppose it would be unfair of me to expect the relationship to be the same as before. It suffered "damage" and sometimes it takes a really long time to heal that. It, I feel, has helped me to be a much more forgiving person. Nobody is perfect so why should I think that my friendships should be perfect. It makes me feel bad that I had to waste time on feeling the way I did when I could have been building up the friendships rather than 'damaging' them. I just hope that these friends know that I truly am sorry and that I really do want to be friends. Obviously we were friends in the first place for a reason. Anyway...
I cleaned today for Matt's co-worker. It was utterly and absolutley exhausting but I know that he really needed it done and I know that he appreciated it. It was a HUGE job! 8 and a half hours of standing, bending, wiping, etc, etc. I did not sit down at all except to eat lunch (which took me 2 minutes) and to eat some yougurt (1 minute). I have not stood that long, consistently, for a really long time. By the end, I could barely sweep the floors it was so tiring. He has 2 houses (right beside each other, thank goodness) and he lives in one and the other one is empty right now because he's trying to sell it. He's getting married in 2 weeks so he's a little busy with getting that together. If I didn't like him or think highly of him, I wouldn't have done the job.
I don't understand or know how guys can live the way they do when they are bachelors. It's SOOOO GROSS!!!! Do guys not know how to clean a dish or sweep the floor or mop or take their shoes off at the door so they don't track in dirt all over the house???? I can't even talk about the bathrooms....I have never, in my life, seen such dirty bathrooms. Guys just don't care, it seems, if their living space is a pigsty. It makes me appreciate married life so much more to know that Matt is capable AND WILLING to clean up after himself. I feel so bad for Matt'sfriend/co-worker because he is NOTa dirty person in any sense of the word. I know he really tries to keep things tidy and moderately clean. It's his house-mates! Obviously he can't clean up after these guys like their mother. Plus, it wouldn't be fair to him. Each person can only do so much. I'm glad that I was taught about cleanliness at an early age and that we are teaching Tanner. I'm glad that it's done.

I have had a bit of a slacker week and have been "lolly-gagging" around. Basically I have just been puttering around and not really been overly productive. I guess over the week I have been, but not all at once like I like to be. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little more productive day.

Well, I think that's it for now.