Ready to move on

Do you ever feel like you don't have any clear direction on what you're suppose to be doing in life? I totally feel that way right now. And the hard part about this whole thing is that when I pray about it, I feel even more confused and that makes me even more frustrated and makes me feel like I want to pray less because I feel so frustrated. I know this weighs heavily on Matt and I feel like I can't do anything to lift that burden on him. I believe in Matt so much...it's just me that I don't. I don't know what to do for him. I feel like I don't know how to be supportive. And then it makes me feel like I don't know how to be a good person, a good mother, a good friend, a good anything. I have all these mixed feelings that are just sitting there and by writing this post I'm letting the feelings spill out a bit, but not totally, and I want to just dump them out completely. But sometimes it's hard because if I talk to certain people, I know and can hear the disappointment in their voice. Like somehow it's mine or Matt's fault that he doesn't have a job right now. I don't know what will happen at the end of this month because as of July 2nd if he doesn't have a job, we'll be in serious, serious financial trouble. We are going to have to apply for welfare this week because I heard it can be a lengthy process, so it's better to have that in the works than not at all. I know this is a test of our faith, but I don't think I have enough of it to get the things we need right now.

Anyways, I'm ready to move on but clearly the Lord has different plans that we can't figure out right now.

On a side note, we borrowed the movie No Reservations. It was pretty cute. There was one very mildly suggestive part where he kisses the woman on the neck, but other than that, it was very clean. There have been some blogs that have some negative movie reviews so thank you to those of you who wrote them. It's nice to know what movies are not worth seeing and which are. Maybe I'll add a side bar with movie reviews on it. That might be a good idea....hmmmm.....

We are very much enjoying the rain. A lot of people stay inside when it rains, but NOT US! We LOVE the rain and love to jump in the puddles and play in the mud. I never want to limit my child to only dry weather playing. It would be no fun and crazy to keep Tanner inside when it rains all the time. If he didn't like the rain, then of course I wouldn't force him out, but if he wants to I let him. I even encourage him to. He gets a bit buggy if he's inside all the time. Why not? It's only rain...water dries and mud comes out if you rinse right away. Anyways, that's my feelings on the rain. A log of people hate the rain, but we don't. Plus, it keeps us from having to remember to water our garden so that's always nice.


Until next time.