Most of you know how I feel about lateness but I was thinking about it in a different way today. As I am getting RSVP's back for my Mom's birthday there have been a couple of people that have said they will or might be late. Okay, sure not a problem for this kind of open party. But then I thought, I can tell you the people who are going to be late for things because they are ALWAYS late. And it's sad to say that most, if not all, of these late comers are members. And I think "Boy, I'm glad that I was taught to be on time and try to be a good example by being on time"
I know not everyone is perfect. Just like not everyone has a testimony of certain things like for example, one person might have a really strong testimony of tithing but Jane Doe next to me, might pay her tithing but not have a testimony of it. Maybe she is just building her faith in the principle.
But I think being late is kind of the same thing. It's a principle of faith and obedience. Just like (and I know, Lynn, you e-mailed this amazing article to me but I can't open it right now) what we wear shows our reverence to the Lord. In this article, it talks about how even the fabric of our clothes shows our reverence. It talks about how for example, Denim is not a fabric that we should wear to church because it is a casual fabric and it shows an attitude of casualness in our appearance. Or when girls wear t-shirts or flip flops with skirts. My Dad would roll over in his grave if I ever wore a t-shirt or flip flops to church. If I am wearing my high high heel shoes (those who know me, know which ones I'm talking about) to church and we are walking, I wear flip flops to WALK to church but then I put on my nice shoes and I'm good to go. I feel that wearing t-shirts shows a casual attitude towards what should be really sacred and special.
Anyways, I think it all ties into our attitude about the Lord and the church. I think that not wearing nylons in the summer is okay but my Mom disagrees. I try to wear them in the winter but let's face it, nylons are not the same as they were when I was a teenager. They are flimsy and run after 2 or 3 wears. Why do I want to spend my money every month on a pair of $8-10 nylons? I don't even mind nylons. They actually make me feel prettier...weird, I know, but the investment is a little crazy. It's harder with kids too. They climb and their clothes can snag your nylons or like what always happens is that the bench has a little snag in it and it catches the nylons. The other thing that I am not good at that I know I should be because I do know better is ironing my Sunday clothes. When you have kids, it's almost like there's no point sometimes because you hold them on your lap and you get wrinkly anyways. I don't go to church with really really wrinkly clothes but if I wore a skirt a couple weeks before and I wear it again a few weeks later, I don't iron it because I know it will just get wrinkly when Tanner sits on my lap. It's something that I need to work on. Just like tithing, I do have a testimony of it but when it comes to having ironed clothes, I'm not a very good example. I'm working on it. Anyways, the lateness thing and the clothing thing, I feel, are all about our attitude. It's just something I don't understand...the lateness and casual clothing thing. But then I'm sure people don't get why I still bring Tanner snacks for church or why I don't make him sit more quietly. Or why I let him play on and in the car (with the windows down of course). We just have to be forgiving of things we don't understand. The other thing is why do we feel the way we do about certain things? Why do we have the opinions we do? How did we get them? Hmmm...just thinking...
3 years ago
9 comments:
WOW! What a memory Mandy! I forgot all about that article I sent you when you lived here and was the YW's leader. That was a couple of years ago at least. Obviously it made a huge impression on you. I just thought it was so good myself. I will go and search for it again and maybe see if I can't find another copy for you.
YAY! I found it! It's called "Image Integrity" written by the Church News writer, Sarah Jane Weaver. Dated for June 23, 2007. So I guess it was just over a year ago. Seems like you've been gone for a lot longer than that!
I've sent it to your e-mail again and a couple of others I found too. There are so many good articles about what we should and should not wear to church in the New Era magazines too. In fact there was one just this month (August 2008) about why our sons should wear white shirts while serving and blessing the sacrament. And I also go a step further and have my sons always wear their suit jackets too while doing that. They are willing to sacrifice with the heat for at least those 20 minutes. I am SO glad that they are. There was another article about that too.
I had a nap and am not so grouchy now. I still need to do better with lateness, no excuses allowed. I also need to be better with casual dress to church, especially after reading the talk in the new Ensign. Maybe that will be my focus for shopping this weekend.
Thanks for helping me be better!
Interesting post Mandy. I, too, have a problem when other people are late. I don't have a problem with people coming to church late because to me I figure that if they get there late then it is better than them not getting there at all. I am not one of the people that are late, however I do understand how hectic it can be (especially when my husband was the Elders' Quarum president and I had to do it all by myself) and so I don't mind it when people are late for church. However, if the Bishop starts the meeting late because he is waiting for those people to arrive, I do get kind of irked.
Now, that is completely different then when I am planning something. My stance on that is if I ask you to come over at a certain time, or if we plan to meet at a certain time please be on time. I understand if things come up like bad traffic or if you end up running late, but if you are going to meet me at a certain time and you know you are not going to be on time, please show me you care by taking the time to give me a quick phone call BEFORE YOU ARE LATE and let me know. With 5 kids of my own, I know that things can go wrong so a simple phone call (AGAIN BEFORE YOU ARE LATE) is all that I ask and then I don't really mind what time you show up at. It's when people are late and they don't let me know that bothers me. To me, it's a matter of showing respect for the other person.
Something I have learned about appearances though is that you have to be careful and not judge people. Yes, it is showing a good example when we all have our perfectly pressed clothing and nylons and heels and wear them to church, but what if there is someone who doesn't have that on? Does the Saviour love her any less? Is the church an exclusive club that should only allow a certain callibour of dress be allowed, or should it be like the Saviour himself and not judge those who are poorer or who don't know any better or who are wearing the best items of clothing that they know how. I believe that even though it may not be acceptable for ME to wear certain articles of clothing to church, that standard may not be the same for someone else. And I am sure that we will not be barred from entering Heaven just because we wore a T-shirt, flip-flops and a denim skirt to church. It's a good thing that the Saviour doesn't judge us on our appearance, but we are judged by our works and our hearts. . . . just something to think about.
I totally understand you opinion on lateness. It is my worst pet peeve. And right now I have the task of tracking down guests who still have not RSVP'd to our wedding. I see being late as being disrespectful. If someone is late it suggests that their time is more important than yours. I guess I have to work on being more understanding and patient.
As for the clothing issues, I can handle flip flops and skirts but I draw the line at wearing gym clothes to the office. Lulu lemon does not make work appropriate clothing unless you are a yoga instructor.
Hey Megan,
I just wanted to make it clear that I do not think that because someone wears a denim dress or skirt or more casual clothes to church that I think the Savior loves them any less or that they will be barred from entering the Celestial kingdom. I don't think that at all. I use to wear a denim skirt to church a lot but when I read this article, I choose not to ever wear denim to church again. But that was my choice.
Life is all about choices and if someone chooses to wear something casual to church then that's their choice. I don't think any less of them. I know lots of people that wear denim or casual clothes to church and I still love them.
Not everyone feels the same way about apperances and I'm okay with that. I'm not in any way saying that you have to go out and buy nice new clothes if you don't have it. Someone once said to me "if jeans were the only thing you had to wear to chuch, then that's okay". Meaning that you wear whatever you have that you feel is best. For me, best means blouses, dresses, modest skirts, non casual shoes etc. But to someone else best might be a nice clean shirt with a nice skirt. That's okay, I don't think any less of that person.
The bottom line is that I was not saying that I am or was any better than anyone else. I wasn't judging anyone. I was just simply saying that I didn't understand it. That's all. Sorry if it came across as being judgemental.
Sometimes it's whatever clothes we can fit into at the time...LOL. I have 6 tops that fit my giganto nursing boobs right now and they're all t-shirts and we have zero money to buy new clothes so pretty much I'm wearing a t-shirt to church on Sunday. So,while I too see your point, I'm always of the opinion that there are exceptions to every rule. I have more on my plate to worry about than being a few minutes late or who's wearing what to church. Though I DO agree that we should try to look our best on Sunday-we were not allowed to dress casual to church growing up.
Oooo - a late comer to a good convo! (Isn't that so like me? To be late?)
OK, so I still plea innocence - it's genetic, it's a disease! I can't help it! I can be on time when it really matters. But usually I just try to cram too much into too small of an amount of time. And then I'm late. I understand it drives people crazy, but other people do things that drive me crazy. We all have our flaws and we all have our pet peeves. But you still love me, right? :) Actually, I totally hear what you are saying - I hate it when people are late for things like parties too. But I think what drives me more insane about LDS people is the lack of commitment. No one can just say yes or no and then follow through. What's up with that?
As for a t-shirt and flip flops, I think that's HOT - ha ha!
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