Could somone please shoot me???

Normally, for those of you who know me, I rarely complain about pain. I have a very high threshold for pain and even my Mother will tell you that she never knew when I was sick except if she looked at my eyes and they were glassy and by that time, I was sick, not just a little cough but sick. Anyways, can I just say that I am almost unbearably uncomfortable today. My neck is so sore. No I don't have Meningitis. I went to the doctor and he checked my neck and said although it was sore it was still loose enough not to be concerned about. Plus I'm not sick sick.

I thought I was pregnant...3 week late...but 3 negative tests...2 pee sticks and one blood...show otherwise. I have been unusually nauseated and tired and thought that was why. But no.

So now they are going to run a bunch of blood work and I've been referred to a GYN to get a histogram (I think that's what they're called.) I've had one before and they are not comfortable. Anyways, I hope that by Monday my neck is better because I feel like I can't live with this constant pain. It's been going strong for 2 weeks so I'm doping up on robaxacet this weekend and we'll see how that goes. If that doesn't work, they'll inject this stuff that freezes my muscles or something and it relieves the pressure on the joint and or muscles. Cut my neck off, I don't care. Just let this pain go away! So that's enough complaining for now...moving on.

I took down our guest room this week and put Tanner's room in where it was and made Tanner's room into the play/reading room. It's so nice to not have toys all over the living room and kitchen. That way if I want to read or watch a movie, he's not in there making a bunch of noise.

Tanner had a really special day on Thursday (yesterday). He was invited to school for a spa day. They are working on the "m" sound so they had foot massages, marshmallow "m" pictures to make, milkshakes, music and a movie called Madeline's manners. It was so fun. I got to help with the massages of the kids feet. He normally doesn't go to school on Thursday so it was a real treat for both of us. His teacher called up and invited him to come and he thought that was pretty neat.

His teachers are really impressed at how well he reads. He's reading at about a grade 1 level maybe a little higher. They haven't tested him but he can read big words like package, and especially, and chocolate, and loose. Words that most kids can't read until they are older. We are so very blessed to have a child that reads so well. We are trying to focus on his fine motor skills like printing and threading beads on strings to get fine motor control of his hands. It's frustrating for him sometimes, but it's important to have this skill for printing. He gets to have a transformer when he's done his workbook that we have for him. He is really excited about that. He keeps telling Matt and I every day that he's really into Transformers. He carries the one he has around the house everywhere and can't wait to get another one so his Optimus Prime will have someone to "fight" with.

He has gotten so sweet and caring lately. The other day I asked him to go play in the toy room because he had his toys in the living room and I was trying to read the Ensign and he said "but you'll be all alone" and I said it was okay because I was just going to be reading about Joseph Smith and he said "but I don't want you to be all alone". Also, when I switched his room, when he saw it for the first time, he told me 4 times that he loved it, he really loved it, thank you, it was the best room ever and he really loved it.

Well, I think that's about it for now. I hope February is a great month for everyone. I can't believe that January is already over. We celebrated 9 years on the 28th of January. Time really does fly.

How long is too long

I know it's been a while and I feel bad about that. I just haven't had much time to write or do much. I think because I am really busy with really reading and studying my scriptures and preparing my weekly lessons. I am reading 3 of the 4 standard works. I'm not reading the New Testament this year. I have found that with reading and studying the other 3, I don't have a lot of time. Plus now that we are down to one vehicle and walking, we have to plan ahead. And things are more time consuming. Taking Tanner to play group or picking him up from school and getting home before we have to go back to the school for play group is very time consuming. And then on Thursdays he has, in addition to play group, music class which is on the other side of town. Luckily I have arranged for someone to pick him up and drop him off for that. They are in our ward and 2 of her kids are in the class with Tanner. I am enjoying the exercise and the blessing of getting out in the fresh air daily. But when Friday comes, I am ready to just hang out and not go anywhere.

A week ago I had something happen to me that was really an eye opener and now I am feeling better about my parenting abilities and being able to stay more calm than before. I have really been able to tell the difference in how I talk to Tanner and Matt and how I deal with my own irritations and annoyances.

So, other than that, not much is too new.

My favorite things right now are reading, doing dishes, laundry, hanging out with Tanner and enjoying the sun when it shines.

The things I wish I could be enjoying are longer days, swimming, bike riding, feeling better about myself and finding sleep...I am totally suffering insomnia and it sucks

Things that excite me right now are preparing my lessons for Primary and thinking about how to teach the things I need to teach in the best possible way and be fun for the kids, my 30th birthday in 3 1/2 months, and the non side effect of my pre-diabetic medication.

So that's a little for now.

Correction

I just wanted to make it clear that I do appreciate what the soldiers have done and continue to do. I highly respect them and are grateful every day for what they do. The point I was trying to make is exactly what Sharon had said in that I don't understand why all the hoopla around people who have chosen that path and all the people who have died. I also found a great quote from I believe Boyd K. Packer about how not all our lives will be celebrated in grandeur like Moroni or the great heroes of the Book of Mormon. Most of us will live our lives in quiet splendor without all the fanfare but that doesn't make us any less serviceable to God. So I'm okay with it...the war and if that what people choose to report on and glorify then that's up to them.

I've just had my ears unplugged and it feels great. They've been plugged up for a couple days now and it was really painful last night and this morning but then I went to the doctor and they're all better.

We had a non eventful new year. We rented a bunch of movies and watched them. Matt went to bed at 11:30 and Tanner fell asleep at 11. So it was just me at 12 to kiss no one : (

We did, however, have an eventful weekend. Matt's truck (well, it actually his Dad's that he loaned to Matt) had the wheel lock up on it. Not a huge deal except that the truck was parked behind our car in the driveway and so we didn't have access to our car. So thankfully, with a prayer and the help of Susanne's husband, Chris, they got the truck out and the car is now accessible. So Tanner and I are back to walking everywhere. I don't think he really gets that yet, but I'm sure he will when I go to pick him up at school in a little while.

Matt also starts at dunlop ford tomorrow. We are all very excited about that and the changes it will bring. He'll stay on at the feedlot on the weekends because it's not a full days work on the weekend. That way, he'll be able to bring in a little more money and he'll still get time with his family.

Our Primary Class went well. I am actually very excited about it this year. I'm looking forward to teaching and learning all the things I can. I am looking forward to the class participation.

So, happy new year!

The war is over is it not?

First off, we had a fair Christmas. Take that for what you want. It wasn't the best Christmas, but it wasn't the worst. I guess, it was a fairly normal Christmas...including tears, laughter, smiles, screams of joy and happiness, surprises and way way way too much food. I am sure I've gained at least 10lbs this month. Tanner got lots...as usual. Matt and I got some really nice things. Some books that we really wanted, skates for Matt so he can learn along with Tanner how to skate, treats, and other things.

So this may be a "hot topic" but I don't understand why people keep glorifying or praising soldiers...people who join the army or navy by their own free choice...and get rewarded for what they are paid to do. Wasn't the war for our freedom already fought? So why do we keep glorifying or praising these people who freely choose their life? Why do we reward them for their "talents"? I'm not saying that I'm not grateful for the war that was fought so that I have the freedom I do now, but it seems like there are other people in the world that have talents that don't get recognized. Why aren't we expressing and showing our thanks and praises to those who actually deserve it, like our husbands and children and the Savior. Anyways, just a thought.

We are looking forward to a great new year and lots of happy things. We don't have any plans for the new year. Maybe just rent a movie and eat the last of our treats.

Matt and I get a new Primary class this week. We are excited. Sad that we won't teach the kids we've had for over a year, but excited to have new students. We also have a new chorister and a few new teachers so it should be an exciting adventure for all of us.

We are thinking about getting Internet back. Now that Matt will be at a consistent job and we don't have to pay AHC anymore, we'll have a little more...I hope. I have been going to the Chiropractor every week and that adds up, but it is worth it and we are hoping it will help us in our efforts to get pregnant. If not, then that's okay. I am not getting my hopes up and I feel relaxed and calm about it. If we are meant to have another child, then it will happen, if not, then I know that's okay too.

I know this is a totally random post with lots of random thoughts. Sorry. Anyways, that's about all for now.

Please go to bed!

Well, we have officially started Christmas vacation. We are at my Mom's house and Tanner is not going to bed. Some days I feel like he's out of control with hyperness. Maybe I'm getting old...lol. We have had quite an eventful, busy month already. Tell me honestly, who doesn't have a busy month when December rolls around? Why is it at the end of the year, we all get stressed out and get so busy? The reason for the season is Christ and I don't think he wants us to get stressed out by remembering his birth. It's a joyful thing, not a stressful thing. Anyways, we went to our ward Christmas Party last weekend, which was fabulous. It went smoothly and there was just enough entertainment and activity which made it a really nice evening. We also had our enrichment Christmas party which was SOOOOOO much fun! Susanne and the board did an amazing job! It was very simple, relaxed and fun. It was a Christmas Cozy and we were all to come in our P.J.'s for a light supper (soup in a bread bowl) and a games. We had a wonderful Christmas message and then we played games. It was really fun and there was a great turn out.

Tanner was in his first musical production. He did good for it being his first one. I saw this woman there and I could feel the pressure she was putting on her child to make sure she sang the songs and didn't wreck her make up or clothes and I felt really sad for that little girl. I think that a lot of parents put so much pressure on their children to be older or more mature than what they are.

Who am I to talk though...I'm not a perfect parent. My parenting abilities have recently, I feel, been questioned and I hate that feeling that maybe I'm not a good parent or doing a dis-service to my child because I don't expect the same things from him that other people do from their children. Being a parent is such a tricky thing.

Anyways, that's enough about that.

We are all looking forward to spending time together as a family and hanging out.

This one's for you Sharon!

Sharon has been asking me for pictures so here they are. We had a great time in Calgary. Usually by the 4th or 5th day, I feel ready to go home but I was sad to leave because we were having a really nice time all together. Tanner got lots of really nice gifts and we are so thankful for all the things he got. We are now in full swing for Christmas and getting ready to send out our cards. We went to the Raymond 11th annual old fashioned christmas last night and we had so much fun. We went on hayrides, decorated cookies, shopped a little, got free hot chocolate and dounuts, and went ice skating for free. This was the first year we went and we will be making it an yearly thing for sure. So I think that's all for now. Enjoy the pictures.


Trying out his new skates he got for his birthday
Tanner and his new rollerskates
A blanket I made recently
The new family
The Book Of Mormon cake for his party at my Mom's. I would make it darker blue next time
The emoticon cupcakes for the party at Matt's moms
Tanner and his cousin, Wyatt
A doctor in the making????? Maybe
My Mom made this wreath and put it on my Dad's headstone the night before my Uncle was burried right next to him
My sweet nephew Emerson
The birthday gang
Me and the birthday boy
Having a hot dog roast for his birthday dinner....yum yum
The Crayola Crayon cake
Getting ready for party #1 of 3
Tanner got this crown at School and wore it for 3 days straight.
Shelby and Tanner
Our Tree

Forgetful Me

I forgot the cord to my camera so I can't upload pictures until I go back home to Raymond. Then I'll have to go over to Susanne's and upload them.

Tanner's surgery went really well today. He did great. Now tomorrow is the final birthday party for him. Thank Goodness!

Tradition

Here's a question that I'd really be interested in getting some feedback. What are your top 5 Winter/Christmas holiday traditions? I will have pictures tomorrow of birthday's and blankets and other fun things so stay tuned.

Pause

This week has been the busiest week so far of my life that I can remember. Monday night was the viewing of my Uncle. I was the only one of my family that went in. I understand some people don't get the point of a viewing but I do. My Mom had a viewing of my Dad and that was really the first time I had ever heard of such a thing. I did not bring Tanner to it because I just don't know if he really understands death yet. I don't want to over expose him to it but I don't want to keep him totally and utterly sheltered from it because it happens and at some point, I know I'll have to explain it to him.

I did, however, take him to the cemetery on Tuesday. They buried my Uncle before the actual funeral service and I felt like that was something he could handle and I could explain to him in terms that were simple and that he would understand. I think it helped that we went to the cemetery on Monday afternoon to visit my Dad's grave site and place a wreath on it. My Uncle was buried right beside my Dad, which was really nice. Then after the burial, we (my Mom and Amy) dropped Tanner off and went over to the funeral service. It was a beautiful service. Just all around a really nice service. Every one in the whole family was there except 4 of the cousins, 2 of which were my other 2 sisters. Then 2 from the states were missing. Lots of my cousins traveled from distant places and it was so nice to be able to see them.

Anyways, then we spent the night in Airdrie with my Aunt. Today, we were at the Hospital all morning and for part of the afternoon for appointments and then to Erica's to visit and then to my Mother in Laws for a party. So it was a bust day and I am so looking forward to tomorrow when I have only one thing to do...speech therapy.

Tanner has been an angel for the last 3 days. Just really good and patient and loving and just really really great. It just makes it less worrisome for me to know that he's being so good.

I miss my friends and especially Matt right now. BUT...he did have 2 interviews so hopefully something comes of one of them.

I have a feeling this next year will be a year of a lot of deaths. Life can just be so fragile sometimes. I am thankful that I chose to come to earth and have this experience because I know that it will help me to be a stronger person. Death is not the end and I am so grateful for that knowledge. The gospel is true and that's all that matters is knowing the gospel and living it the best we know how through faith in Jesus Christ.

Life is not easy, but it is so worth it.

Some sad news

I will first start with the bad news, my uncle died on Friday from his heart attack. It has been very sad for everyone. He was dearly loved and we will miss him all.

Second, my sister went back into the hospital. She has an infection. She was thankfully able to keep the baby with her so that was a blessing.

And as if that's not enough I just found out that a relative has cancer.

It's been a long week and will most likely continue being a long week but I want to be there for my family and be supportive and be strong. I know my Mom is really sad because it brings back memories of my Dad. When someone dies, the pain never goes away completely, it just gets less intense over the years and less frequent. I am actually good. I am trying to focus on staying calm and doing whatever I can to help. I hate when I offer my services and people say that they will use them and then they never do so I'm really trying to put myself out there. Right now, it is all about just being with my Mom and sisters and making sure they are okay too. I have it kind of good living further away than the rest of my family because I don't feel the intensity that I probably could feel if I lived in Calgary. That's not to say that I haven't cried, because I have.

Anyways, Tanner's birthday was on Friday. What a gem Tanner is. I just love him so much. At church today someone put into words how I feel and she said that she felt she is able to feel a glimpse of how much Heavenly Father loves her by having this little girl. I think sometimes we underestimate how much we are loved by Heavenly Father. I always think "how could I love Tanner any more than I do right now?" How could anyone love anyone so much? It's such an intense feeling and I know that that feeling is only a portion of how much the Lord loves us. Tanner had a great party. He had 5 of his friends over and we had cake and ice cream and played games and opened presents. I didn't want to do anything fancy because we didn't have a lot of money so I thought cake and ice cream is so easy and not expensive at all. I made him this really cute cake. It was a crayola crayon box cake with 3 'crayons' sticking out. I'll upload pictures later. We also went to the show choir dress rehearsal and he loved that. He just loves music. So that was about it. He is having 2 parties up in Calgary and is really excited about them.

So for now, that's all.