Love, Love, Love

As I was pondering the other day about love and kindness, I thought to myself "What is love/kindness, really?" What is the definition of love? So what did I do? I looked it up in the dictionary and this is what I came up with (okay, I didn't come up with it, the dictionary told me):

Love- 1.strong affection
2. Warm attachment
3. unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for others

Then I wondered, what is the definition of affection, unselfish, loyal and benevolent (can you see where I'm going with this?)?

Affection-tender attachment

Unselfish-generous

Loyal-faithful, constant

Benevolent- an act of kindness or charitable nature

I'm not really sure ALL of those word describe me but a lot of them describe what I feel for others or other things. So here's what I love:

my family

my friends

certain traits I have (I know this sounds like I'm blowing my own horn but there are things I really do love about myself)

my house (this falls under the warm attachment category)

living in a country where I am free to choose what I believe

babies

listening to other peoples life stories

my job

cleaning

talking

the moments that are etched in my memory forever
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While thinking about love, I thought love is a word that a lot of people use in the wrong sense (including me). For example: I would normally say something like "I love rice" or "I love Glee" but I don't have a strong affection, warm attachment or unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for those things. It would be more appropriate to say "I enjoy rice" or "I really enjoy watching Glee"...but let's face it, we all use the word love 'loosely'. I'm sure there are people that would disagree with me and that's fine.

I want to be more loving and love more fully in my life and I hope that by understanding the definition of love, it will help me in my quest.

growing

I turned on my camera and found this random but super cute picture of Tanner. Matt and him tend to take pictures without me knowing about them. He's really into the faux-hawk right now.

I realized I never shared this picture of the gift I gave at Christmas.

For the last 2 weeks I've been struggling with some personal things and it finally reared it's ugly head in the last day or two and now I am feeling that feeling when you know a situation is supposed to help you to grow. Sometimes I hate growing. Whoever said ignorance is bliss is a big fat liar. Anyways, the situation allowed me to have some things confirmed to me that I was seriously doubting (all good things in the end) but I am actually grateful that it will help me to grow. So in the spirit of being grateful I would like to share what I'm most grateful right now in my life

-my Mom. I have called her more in the last 2 weeks sobbing almost uncontrollably than I have in almost my entire life.

-Megan. For always making me see the light at the end of the tunnel and allowing me to be me. If I need a dose of reality, I can count on her to give it to me.

-Matt. He lets me vent and never tries to fix what I'm going through. He lets me be who I want to be and never judges me. Plus, he's just awesome overall

-my Scriptures. I have been trying to just focus on a chapter or 2 each week so that I can really understand what is being taught in each chapter. It's been really helpful in keeping my cool.

-my health. Although today I was in extreme pain (thank you un-welcome monthly visitor), I am glad that I have a body that allows me to walk/jog, smell, taste, feel, hear, touch, and see all the things around me.

-my night guard. I have not had any night headaches since getting it. I also barely breathe (according to Matt). He tells me almost every day that he can barley hear me breathe at night anymore. He use to hear me grind my teeth or sleep mumble but not anymore.

-a patient at the office brought me in a pair of earrings she made and it totally brightened up my day.

-Tanner getting his cub handkerchief and woggle. I am so glad that he enjoys cubs and I am so excited for him next week. It's his first Cub Car rally and although I won't be there, Matt is going to go and take some pictures and possibly a video.

-Tanner's bed is here. We originally were going to stain it but he wants it to be red so we're going to look at red paint. I will take a picture of it and put it up soon but it's beautiful and you're all going to be jealous that you don't have bed as beautiful as his...haa haa I told Matt that I wanted a bed like Tanner's and he said "do you know how expensive that would be?". One day I will have a real bed.

-Matt and I are celebrating our birthday ALL month long (in April). We just want to spend time with each other and with the people we love and adore and so that's exactly what we are going to do. So get ready for lots of get together (or in other words P-A-R-T-A-Y)

-The weather we are having is really helpful in keeping me motivated to stay active and walk/jog as much as I can.

-Raisins. Although I do not like raisins in cookies, I am really enjoying my new nightly snack with a little celery and P.B.

-Life. Life is a great teacher and I am grateful for trials as well as blessings.

Let it go

I have a personality that is not even tempered. If I'm happy, you'll know it. If I'm frustrated, irritated or annoyed, you'll know it. How? It's written all over my face. I do know that when I'm feeling negatively that I have to be really conscious about how I act because although I never intend to upset or be unkind to people intentionally, I can UN intentionally say something that is unkind. I know how to 'bite my tongue' so to speak. What I have a hard time with is when a person asks me why I'm feeling a certain way and then does not listen. Matt ALWAYS tell me not to worry and for so long, I just couldn't NOT worry about certain things. It would be like saying "Mandy, just be happy 100% of the time". Easier said than done. Anyways, I was explaining my predicament to a close family friend he gave me advice that I can actually wrap my brain around. He said "you have to learn to let it go". I don't know why that seems easier than "don't worry about it" but anytime I have found myself consumed with worry, all I have to say to myself is "let it go, Mandy" and I can stop worrying about whatever is was I was worrying about. I tend to over-analyze and it is a habit that I am trying to let go of.

I was sad last week to learn that 2 of Tanner's surgeons are semi-retiring and won't be his surgeons in his next surgeries. I was filled with gratitude for the great doctors they are and the choice they made to be doctors. I know the next surgeons will be good as well but change can be hard when you've built up a rapport and trust with certain doctors.

Tanner has a lot of spunk lately. He called up my Mom and asked her to send him a Valentines package and to please send his baby (which he forgot last week when we were there) with it. He's has also been really kind and sensitive lately. We started this love jar for Valentines day and we write something we love about each person in our family every day BUT we also include something about our self that we love. Tanner told me he wrote that he loved his spikey hair on Sunday. Oh man! I love that kid!

Life, overall, is good. We're looking forward to spending some time in Calgary with my family at Easter and meet our new little nephew (due in 3 weeks).

Vegas

Vegas was amazing! The seminar was phenomenal! I learned so much and am so glad I went. I was super excited to be able to learn the things I did. I went to the Criss Angel show and it was really good. I had really good seats (7th row from the front) and I even really enjoyed being on my own for the time. My show was at one end of the strip and to get to our hotel I had to walk to the opposite end of the strip. Everyone else went to Celine Dion so I met up with them after my show and we walked back to the hotel. I am also no longer a Forever 21 virgin. The Forever 21 store in Vegas is massive. I was totally overstimulated walking in there (it's 2 floors) so I ended up heading to the jewelry and getting a really cute pair of feather earrings. I would not take my family to the strip on any vacation but I'm glad I was able to experience a small part of it. I am so happy I got to go and that I was able to learn so much. I forgot my camera so that kind of stinks but it was really fun.

Music to my life

I have to admit that I am very close to being addicted to music. Music is....well, I'll write you a post about it.

Music is like my escape from anything I want to escape from. When I want to escape from reality for a bit, I turn on my music and dance around my kitchen and living room. I dance in my shower, anywhere I feel the urge to do so.

Music calms me. When I'm feeling rushed or frustrated, I turn on some calming music (usually classical or I ADORE the soundtrack to Pride and Prejudice). It soothes me and helps me to feel calm.

Music is my avoidance of things. If I don't really want to socialize (I know, SHOCKER!) or talk to someone I listen to my music.

Music is my travel companion. I can not travel in silence. It's very difficult for me to drive anywhere without listening to some music at least some of the time. It also is my companion when I'm by myself in my house. This is slightly a problem because I HATE being in my house by myself....especially at night. I would much rather sleep at someones house than stay in my own house alone at night. So to solve that problem, I turn on music until I am so tired that I know I'll fall asleep without it.

Music is my exercise buddy. I really can't exercise without it. It gives me the beat and motivation to walk/run.

Music makes me feel weirdly connected to memories. I can hear a song from my Jr.High days and know exactly what that song reminds me of.

What are my favorites right now?

Adele 21

Selena Gomez and the Scene

Christina Perri

Ellie Goulding

I still enjoy Britney

Disney Prince of Egypt

Florence and the Machine

What are YOUR favorites right now?

Raymond Comets/Purpose

I guess I had to face the inevitable and get back to blogging sometime. I've been neglectful of my little blog and hope to be a bit better at it. My Mom, of all people, said that her and my sister were wondering why I hadn't blogged for so long. I guess that's a clear sign that I need to get back to it...lol



To start off, Christmas was great. It was really quiet and we got some really wonderful gifts. Tanner was spoiled as usual and he's really enjoying his gifts. We've had a busy New Year already. We went up to Calgary to attend Matt's Grandma's 90th birthday at Heritage Park. We had the brunch there which was heavenly and really yummy. The new year also brought Tanner pneumonia *insert eye roll*. Let's just not talk about that o.k.? Great. I am leaving this week for Las Vegas to go to a Chiropractic Seminar with the office I work in. I am WAY excited! I'm actually kind of giddy about it. I am really excited to learn some new things and just expand my knowledge. Matt's been really busy as he's had to work extra hours in the morning as the head custodian at the school was sick in the hospital. It's been a long week for him and I'm glad he'll get some sort of break while I'm gone. We attended our first Sugarbowl Tournament and it was pretty good I thought. Which brings me to my first deep thoughts of the year.

I do not claim to know basket ball as an expert and I don't even know all the rules but as far as I've seen this year so far, our team is okay. I think it would be hard to be on the team this year after they've had so much success with such amazing players in previous years but they seem to be getting some flack for that. I only saw a couple of games last year and yes they were really good but I think it discredits the team this year when people say they aren't as good as last years team. Well of course they're not! They have new 'star' players that have different strengths than those of the 'star' players last year. They also have new coaches. I think it's unfair to compare the team this year to any in the past because so much has changed. I have my own feelings/opinions about the team but, overall, I can see that they are really trying and they are doing the best they can in the moment. Like all teams on or off a court/field, there's always room for improvement. I imagine it is hard to remember all that you've learned when you're on the court and the adrenaline is running through you and all you want to do is win. It's only the beginning of the season and we have some really good players that I think will only get better. I'm glad that I didn't see a lot of games last year because I think it gives me a new and fresh perspective on the team that we have now....not the team that we had in the past. I am excited to watch the team this year and hopefully they make it to the championships but if not, I hope their efforts won't go unnoticed because they are coming out of the shadows of a former team of champions.

Happiness is

Friends and family

Work

Hugs

Hot showers with my music blarin'

Secret Pixie gifts

Love

Advice

Cleaning

Service

God

Tanner

Matt

A humidifier

Motrin

Water

You

Me

Snow falling

Getting cards in the mail


What are you happy about today?

Being an only child

The other day I was imagining the reasons it would be so nice to be an only child:

-If your Mom got you a cereal you liked, you wouldn't have to worry about your sisters/brothers eating it. OR taking the last bowl of it when you really wanted it.

-you can have your pick of seat in the vehicle

-you can do your homework with no distraction with one on one help from your parent.

-you don't have to worry about your sibling walking in on you while changing

-you can snuggle with your Mom and Dad in the bed without it getting crowded.

-you can have a bath all to yourself

-you have no one to blame your mis-deeds on...except if you're tanner and you have an imaginary brother named banner.

-siblings won't wreck your stuff

So there you have it. My list of why it's great to be an only child. There is also some non great stuff too but lets look at the good : )

I made stuff from Pinterest!

For my work Christmas party, I attempted to make a couple things that I had pinned on pinterest. I was in charge of games and instead of buying or making things to give away as the prizes, I made treats. I have been wanting to try these couple of things so I thought what better time to make them.

This is Candy Cane Popcorn. Easy. I just got some of the candy cane Hershey kisses and melted them (with a double boiler) and then poured it over popcorn. This is really easy and it is a good alternative if you don't have candy canes but want the flavor of peppermint.

This was suppose to be White Chocolate Almond bark popcorn. It did NOT turn out very well. Matt over-cooked the chocolate and when we tried to melt white chocolate chips...it didn't end well. Luckily we saved some of the white almond bark and we used what we had left. You're supposed to follow the directions on the package but I got mine at Bulk Barn so there was no instructions and I didn't know exactly how to melt it. We...I mean I salvaged what I could and it was edible but there are big chunks of Candy Cane coated with over cooked chocolate. If you want to see the original go HERE

The only difference between the 2 kinds of popcorn, really, are that the bark has Almonds in it and real crushed Candy Canes. The 1st kind is just plain.

These are SUPER easy. Just get pretzels, place a Candy Cane Hershey kiss on them, place them in your oven at 170 for about 10 minutes. When they come out, press an M&M into them. Let cool for about 10 minutes and enjoy! I tried to do this last year but I over baked them and they didn't turn out very good. The kiss won't melt totally but they will be soft enough to put the candy on top.

I am really excited to make more stuff and will let you know when I do. Have you made anything that you've pinned?

O Christmas Time!

In the land of Collins', this is what's been up:

-we started our book advent calendar. How's it going? Good, other than Tanner doesn't really want to do the activities that go with the book. Oh well...we have a daily activity calendar for the month of December.

-if you are not on facebook, you may not know that Tanner has the chicken pox. Yes, he does. I am glad I don't have 4 girls who had them all right after each other and I couldn't leave my house for the WHOLE month of December (yes, that was my sisters and I). How lucky am I.

-Matt and Tanner have both had the flu in the last week. Yep. I'm not sure I've had it. I haven't vomited but there are some days I feel like it.

-my work's Christmas party is this Sunday. I am SUPER excited!!!! I get to do the games which I'm stoked about (not in a literal sense). I LOVE playing games. I live for them...well, that's an exaggeration but I do love them.

-my gift for the above mentioned christmas party is 'da bomb. This is my new phrase lately. Anyways, mine and Matt's gift are for sure the best.

-for the games for the christmas party, I am actually trying out a couple of recipes from pinterest. Yep, it's true. I can't wait to see how they turn out.

-I made a gift that I pinned on pinterest for one of my gifts. I can't post it right now (even though I am 99% sure none of the people I work for even look at my blog or even know I have one). I will post it after the partay!

-I am going to Las Vegas in January. Yes, you read that right. I, Mandy Collins, who HATES hot weather and going to new places am going to Las Vegas. It is for a seminar for work and we are all going. I'm not gonna lie...I'm kind of excited. I'm mostly excited for the new things I'm going to learn.

-Matt is seriously the HARDEST person to buy for. He doesn't want to buy movies he's already seen because "I've already seen them". He doesn't like books. He isn't a clothes horse like some guys I know. He's mostly in work clothes. He likes food. But he's kinda choosy about what he likes at certain times. Anyways, I got him something that I told him he will like.

-I went to Lethbridge today all by myself and it was glorious! I took my time and felt relaxed and it was great. No "Mom, can I have this" "Mandy, let's get this" "Can we look at the toys" "I'm going to just wait in the car".

-We'll be in Calgary at least once in the next 3 months with Doctor appointments for Tanner.

Other than that, we are ready for Christmas.