Allowances

What is your rule/policy/guidelines on giving allowances? This is what my thoughts are...totally random, but nonetheless mine. I think .50 a week is sufficient for Tanner, but does he earn the money or just get it because? That's my problem. I want to instill the value of work so I don't really want to give him money for doing chores (or rather, being/teaching him to be responsible for certain things). So what do I do???? What works for everyone else? What doesn't? What do YOU think? I really need some ideas/suggestions. The thing with Tanner is that he is constantly asking for money or asking us to buy things for him and we want him to appreciate the value of money and that you don't just get what you want (despite what certain other people may feel). I remember getting an allowance as a child but I can't exactly remember if it was attached to anything. I remember having chores but I'm not sure if we got paid to do them. Maybe Megan remembers...do you????? Is 5 almost 6 years old to young to start giving an allowance? Nevertheless, I need some suggestions.

Birthdays

What is your rule on birthday parties? We didn't decide what our guidelines are for birthdays are until we moved to Raymond. Tanner is allowed as many friends as the years he is turning (this year he get to invite 6 friends because he is turning 6) but I guess my question is do I let him invite all 6 or do I make suggestions on the 6? He has been to many parties for kids that I would not really encourage him to invite to his party because they aren't really playmates of Tanners. The other thing that on "weak" day I have conflicting feelings on is the pressure to invite all the kids that he's ever been to their party. That would make for a huge party. It's hard when they get older because the get invited to so many parties and you don't know if that parent is going to expect an invite to your child's birthday. The other thing is that we do not do goodie bags. What parent wants their child to come home with more toys and things? I certainly do not. I mean, I guess it's fun for the kids to get something but my thoughts are that they got invited to a party and got fed fun food and cake and got to play games. Shouldn't that be enough? It's a lot of pressure sometimes. I don't want Tanner not to be invited to parties because of the guidelines we have set for the parties we have for him, but we just can't afford to have 10 kids come to our place, eat food, and take a loot bag home. We are simply trying to be modest in our life and that, for us, means not having big birthday parties.

The other thing Matt and I have been talking about lately is sleepovers. Tanner had his first friend sleep over last night and Tanner has slept over at one of my best friends place because I had to work late. I talked about it with Matt and then with a friend of mine and she said it would depend on who it was. I think that's how I would like to do it too, but it's still too early to tell. I read about an alternative to sleep overs called "late overs". The child comes for the evening until a set time (decided by you and the other parents). They get to do all the things that you would normally do at a sleepover like watch a movie or play games, eat the junk food they normally eat (or healthy if that's your choice) and then they go home at 10 or 11 or whatever pre-determined time. I like that idea for a lot of reasons. But I do think the occasional sleepover with certain children is okay. I don't know, what's everybody Else's thoughts and or guidelines on this subject. When my sisters and I were little, sleepovers were 100% okay. We slept at friends' house that were in our ward and that was it. OH! except we did sleep at our neighbors house when my Dad was in hospital and my Mom stayed with him and when my sister got hit by a van. We grew up with these neighbors and played with them almost daily. When we got older we were allowed to sleep at the friends' house of the kids my Mom babysat but that was when we were grade 6 or older (from what I remember). These are kind of big stages now because of all the bad things that happen or could potentially happen at a sleepover. There are so many kids that have been assaulted or abused at sleepovers so it's not a simple thing anymore.

We have been having a great summer so far...still...lol. Tanner is in swim lessons again this week. Today I almost had to throw him in because he was refusing to go in. What a turkey! He got to go up to Calgary again last week too. He had a great time and came home with an adorable haircut. They went to the zoo and saw the Koalas and watched the Elephant show, went swimming, to the Aerospace Museum, and for a sleepover at Aunty Carolyns.

Well, that's about it for now.

If my life depended on it

I could not fall asleep last night if my life depended on it. I lay awake with random thought going through my head and the song " I could have danced all night" from the movie My fair lady. I watched it and LOVED it! I love watching all the old movies that my Mom loved when I was a kid and I thought they were so boring. Like Casablanca, and Breakfast at Tiffany's and Singing in the Rain.

Anyways, I am thankful for so much lately. For being able to go to the pool as much as I want with Tanner. We love the pool and it's a great place to be on a hot day like today.

I am thankful for being re-connected with my friend from childhood through our blogs. She was my first best friend and I actually slept at her house the night my Dad died. I remember her and her Mom talking to me about what had happened and that they were there for me. It was such a huge comfort to know that my friend was still my friend even though my Dad had just died.

I am thankful for my amazing husband who this last Sunday carried my heavy church bag to church while we walked to church because I was careless and got a sunburn. He is so thoughtful and constantly does little stuff like that for me.

I am thankful for my sisters. My sisters are a huge part of my world and I love them a lot. I think about them daily.

I am thankful for my friends who are amazing and forgiving and kind to me. I have the best group of friends anyone could ask for.

I am thankful for Christal's blog. She is so uplifting and I hope my blog will be more like hers and that I myself can be more like her. I think she is an amazing person and she is so grateful for so many things.

I am thankful for my Mother who always has such great advice. Just this week I was asking her how do I encourage Tanner to say other things in his prayer other than the 3 things he always says every other time he prays. So we've tried a different tactic and it's been working pretty good. She's so smart!

I am thankful for the Bible. I love the Bible. I have been studying it this year and am thoroughly enjoying it. The stories are more personal to me as I read them and I love that I can apply the principles into my life.

I am thankful most for the gospel and for the Savior. I can see the difference it makes in a persons life and am grateful that I have the blessing of both in my life.

Anyway, those are just some of the many things I'm grateful for this week. My life is not my own. It belongs to the Lord and I hope that I can do the things that He wants me to do and live a life that honors His name.

This one's for you Lahni

The article that refers to what I'm talking about is here:


Although it doesn't specifically say "no Lingerie", it does say that we should not find reason to remove them and to me it is finding reason to remove them to put something immodest on (weather it be in your own home or not, it is still immodest) when we take them off to put on lingerie.
This is clearly my opinion and I'm not trying to say anyone is right or wrong. But I DO feel like (and again, this is MY FEELINGS and opinion) it is defiling the garments when anyone takes them off for lingerie. Of course you have to take them off for swimming. I don't wear mine when I swim. I don't know anyone that does. Anyway, the article is worth the read and everyone will read it differently and that's okay. But that's what I based my opinion and feelings on. So take it for what it is. I'm not here to say I'm right and everyone else is wrong. I'm also not blogging about this to start a huge debate on something that is personal to each individual. I'm just making myself clear on where I'm coming from.

On another note...Tanner and Matt had a great time at the father/son camp. They left really early on Friday and left me all alone...lol. I ended up going swimming with my best friend and her sister and their children. It was a blast! Then on Saturday, I went to Sharon's to hold her baby. Oh so little and cute. I never really understood the phrase "I could eat him up" until I became a parent. But it's true. We had a great Sabbath. We had a wonderful dinner at the Burton's and then came home and hung out and watched Joseph, prince of dreams. We only allow Tanner and ourselves to watch church movies on Sunday. So we have a few of them. I'd like to get more adult ones. We have a bunch of the living scripture ones. I'd love to get the "Liken" series. They look amazing and I think Tanner would really enjoy them. WE are kind of strict on Sunday's about our activities (if you can call them that). We never have big meals or play outside. We are together as a family and read, or play church games (we have a couple of them) or watch a movie or nap or visit people. I know, we're so boring, but I believe that it's part of keeping the Sabbath Day holy.

My MIL is coming this week and we are looking forward to that. There's also the Primary annual swim party. It is always fun except this year we only get the pool for one hour instead of the two that we normally have because of how much the pool costs. It should be fun, none the less.

I can't believe that July is almost over! Where does the time go. We ended up getting a family swim pass so we can go as often as we want. It is perfect in the hot weather we are having lately. I love getting into the cool water and just relaxing.

Anyway, that's about it for now. I hope everyone is having a great day.

First

I went to the pool yesterday and got burnt because I didn't wear sunscreen. I am paying for it today BUT I'm going back to the pool tonight with one of my best friends and kids. I will wear lots of sunscreen tonight and just continue to nurse my burn with aloe vera gel. Matt and Tanner on gone for their father/son camp out and left at 1:30. I don't think most people are even going to be there until 4 or 5. Oh well, more time for them.

I just wanted to let those of you know who commented on my last post that I did respond in the comments as well.

Tanner has his surgery date set for August 31st for his ear tubes. HOORAY! He'll have them in before school starts. That makes me so happy. He'll even be able to do an additional swim lesson in August so that will be good too.

We're having a great summer and loving every minute of it. I'm hoping to get our Internet back soon (at our house) so I can post some pictures but we'll see.

I am so thankful this week for so many things. I feel over flowing with thanks. I have amazing friends who are strong and who I love so much, and I have family that I am especially thankful for too. I try to always be thankful for my family and friends because they are important to me, but sometimes I know I take them for granted.

Anyway, that's about all for now.

Have a great weekend!

better late than never

It's been a while...I know! Our Canada day was great. My family was here for the big event and then we had a BBQ at my aunts. Later that day we had another BBQ at my friends and then we went to the town carnival. It was so much fun!

Here's something I've been thinking about for the last few days. It is my opinion and I know not everyone will agree but here it is. When a person gets engaged and has a bridal shower is it appropriate, even if the bride wants it, to give lingerie? I don't think it is. If you are a member of the church, IN MY OPINION, you shouldn't even be wearing that kind of stuff. At a shower recently held, the bride got some risky lingerie. Even if it was a joke, I don't think it's appropriate because it only makes the giver of the gift look bad...especially if it's another member of the church. My opinion is that it's wrong. But obviously, that's just me. I am learning to not speak my opinion so freely because it can get me in trouble sometimes and because I realize that not everyone thinks the same way I do...thank goodness!

Tanner is in swim class this week and next and he loves it. He loves the water and I'm hoping he learns some techniques instead of just playing around in the water. I am doing some fun things like mini at home camps with him. This week I'm doing a sports theme and we are going to play all different kind of sports. Last week we did a space theme and made planets and aliens. Next week we're doing an airplane theme and we're going to build an airplane (not a real one) and talk about different kinds of planes. Tanner likes it and is excited about our different themes. He's so cute.

The other night he kept coming out of his room (which is really out of character for him) and finally in a firm, strong tone I told him to stay in his room and go to bed. I went in his room to check to make sure he was staying in there and he said to me "you're a terrible Mom". I told him "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I love you". Then Matt said to me "you know why he says that, don't you?" and I told him I didn't. It's because sometimes when I do things like the one time I forgot to put on his bike helmet and my friend gave me trouble, I said "I'm sorry I forgot, I'm such a terrible Mom". Not even thinking about it. But I guess I do it more than just that one time because Matt said he's heard me say it a few times. So I have to watch what I say about myself.

Other than that, our summer has been going great.

What a difference

A year really makes a difference. As I dropped Tanner off in Calgary yesterday, I was thinking about where I was last year at the same time and let's just say it was not in a good place. Matt was jobless and I was suffering from some serious depression because of where our lives were. My Mom took Tanner for a few days so I could have a break from life and it was very much needed. And now this year, Matt's working and our relationship is good...he's such a good, hard worker and he really wants the best for his family. He really tries hard at everything he does and very rarely complains. I know he really hates something when he says even one thing negative about it. It makes me realize that I complain way more than I think I do. He never has anything bad to say about anything and when I start complaining or whining about certain things, he just lets me vent and then says something like, well, who cares...you're a good person and you're just trying your best. I love that man!
I feel like such a retard lately because I took Tanner to Doctor last week to get a referral for and ENT specialist and it was a resident that came and looked at him initially. When he was done I asked if the Doctor was coming in and he said that only if I wanted him to but that he (the resident) was a doctor. My response was "oh, good". OH GOOD!!!!! What in the world! I was just caught off guard because normally when a resident looks at him when were anywhere else (the ACH or his pediatrician in Calgary) the normal doctor comes in and looks at him as well.

THEN...as if that wasn't bad enough, I had a pap (I know TMI) today and just before he (the same resident who saw Tanner last week) left the room, he told me the gown and cover up were under the pillow and to put them on. I was a little confused because normally unless you're having a full physical (which I wasn't) you just undress from the bottom down. So I did just that and then when the nurse came in I said "I don't need to take my top off do I?" She said no just as the resident came in. Holy embarrassing! I was just confused because when he said to put the gown on, I thought "why do I need the gown on...maybe he thinks it's a full physical". I think I will be on my death bed before I go back to the doctor again. It was far too embarrassing. Hopefully I'll have an exceptionally healthy year and not have to go back for Tanner or I for a year.

So next week I have major company. My Mom, older sister, Amy, my Aunt Carolyn, my younger sister, Megan, and her son Emerson, and my Aunt and Uncle from Utah are all coming to my place for the Raymond Parade! Plus, my Mom and her 2 sisters are having their parents sealed to each other and then being sealed with their brother (who previously passed away) to their parents. It will be a wonderful thing. I'm really excited. I don't know why but I think about how sad it has been that they were not sealed together as a family until now. It makes me feel even more grateful that I am sealed to my family forever. Well, needless to say, I have some major cleaning to do. My sister, Amy, HATES HATES dusty things so I have to dust. I have to say, I'm not a big duster. Thankfully, I don't have a huge house to dust millions of little areas. Then on Monday, Matt and I will clean for our own FHE activity. The lawn will be needing to be mowed, but that takes us about 1 hour tops if we both do it. If he does the back and I do the front, it's easy. I am going to clean as I go in the next couple days and just do a final cleaning on Monday. I know, what a boring life I lead...lol. Well, I should get going. I have scripture study to catch up on.

Have a great day!

OH! everyone should check out my sister's website. It's so fun! Just click on "Megan Doll" on the side bar. You won't be sorry.

What do I have to say????

I have thought of many posts to write and things to write about but of course I did not write them down and they have escaped my mind. Tanner is going up to Calgary this week and I'm looking forward to having time to myself. Lately, Tanner has been acting up and not listening at all. It must be because there is no school. I can't be that bad of a parent, can I????

We've been busy with yard work and weeding our garden. It's a lot of work but I can't wait for the reward. We have found out that the cost for a pass to the pool here is going to be $200 for a family of 4. I'm hoping that individual passes might be cheaper. It's $5 for adults and $3 for kids so to make it worth the $200, you'd have to go every day for the whole 8 weeks it's open. It just might not be worth it. If you have a larger family, it will cost more per child. We haven't totally decided yet. For sure NOT a family pass, but either 2 passes (1 for me and 1 for Tanner) or just pay as we go to it.

I am reading the book "The 5 love languages". It is really a good book. It has already made mine and Matt's relationship better. Knowing each other's love language is really helpful for both individual and relationship purposes. I would highly recommend the book to anyone. The next book I'm going to read is Anne of Green Gables. I'm looking forward to reading it. Then I'm going to read Pride and Prejudice. I finally watched the BBC version of that and loved it a lot. It's 5 1/2 hours long but so worth the time.
Anyways, that's about all for now.

Surgery

So Tanner's tubes fell out of his ears and he will have to have some put back in. We have decided to close our file at ACH with the ENT there and do the surgery down here. We feel that if this is to happen often, then it would be more efficient to have it done here rather than up in Calgary where the wait list is fairly long. It's not a difficult procedure. He'll be in and out in a day but he does have to go under. I have a feeling that this will be a life long thing so it's better to be closer have have shorter time to get in than longer. I'm 100% fine with it. It's no big deal. At least not for Matt and I. After a surgery or two, we have become efficient in our handling the side effects...tiredness, sleepiness, restlessness, crying, needles, doctors, lack of appetite. It almost, for us, becomes second nature when were in the situation. Maybe that sounds like we don't care, but we do. It's like practicing riding a bike or writing. Once you do it a couple times, it becomes easy in a way. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyways, that's the news around this part of life.

I'm a midget

Today Tanner had a kindergarten readiness "test"...seriously?!...No comments from me on that one. Anyways, the teacher handed the parents this package as we were leaving. It contained some memories of each child's year in pre-school. In it, they had made this book of memories. It was so cute. One of the pages was a page all about Mom. These are some of the things that Tanner said: I was 30 years old (correct), I am 1 foot tall (um, hello...I may occasionally act like a baby, but do I look like one?) and weigh 100 lbs (so so so off). My favorite thing to eat is Kraft Dinner (I think he was thinking of himself on that one), when I'm not busy looking after him I like to clean (that's pretty accurate) and that I would like to talk to Susanne (yep, I always want to talk to Susanne so that one was right on). Now for Matt: He is 17 (I sure hope not), Weighs 40 lbs (that's only 7 more pounds than what Tanner weighs) and is 10 feet tall. His favorite food is deer meat (100% right) and his favorite sport is hockey.

So there you have it friends, I am a fat midget and Matt is a skinny, probably not even there, giant.

More later.