It's been a while...I know! Our Canada day was great. My family was here for the big event and then we had a BBQ at my aunts. Later that day we had another BBQ at my friends and then we went to the town carnival. It was so much fun!
Here's something I've been thinking about for the last few days. It is my opinion and I know not everyone will agree but here it is. When a person gets engaged and has a bridal shower is it appropriate, even if the bride wants it, to give lingerie? I don't think it is. If you are a member of the church, IN MY OPINION, you shouldn't even be wearing that kind of stuff. At a shower recently held, the bride got some risky lingerie. Even if it was a joke, I don't think it's appropriate because it only makes the giver of the gift look bad...especially if it's another member of the church. My opinion is that it's wrong. But obviously, that's just me. I am learning to not speak my opinion so freely because it can get me in trouble sometimes and because I realize that not everyone thinks the same way I do...thank goodness!
Tanner is in swim class this week and next and he loves it. He loves the water and I'm hoping he learns some techniques instead of just playing around in the water. I am doing some fun things like mini at home camps with him. This week I'm doing a sports theme and we are going to play all different kind of sports. Last week we did a space theme and made planets and aliens. Next week we're doing an airplane theme and we're going to build an airplane (not a real one) and talk about different kinds of planes. Tanner likes it and is excited about our different themes. He's so cute.
The other night he kept coming out of his room (which is really out of character for him) and finally in a firm, strong tone I told him to stay in his room and go to bed. I went in his room to check to make sure he was staying in there and he said to me "you're a terrible Mom". I told him "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I love you". Then Matt said to me "you know why he says that, don't you?" and I told him I didn't. It's because sometimes when I do things like the one time I forgot to put on his bike helmet and my friend gave me trouble, I said "I'm sorry I forgot, I'm such a terrible Mom". Not even thinking about it. But I guess I do it more than just that one time because Matt said he's heard me say it a few times. So I have to watch what I say about myself.
Other than that, our summer has been going great.
3 years ago
10 comments:
As for the lingerie, I agree that there are some showers (depending on the crowd) where it is inappropriate to give lingerie.
But I think there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with owning and using lingerie with your spouse. Why do you think that's wrong? (Seriously, I want to know.) When you can find me a quote from a recent prophet forbidding the use of lingerie, then I might consider getting rid of my collection.
Aw, your camps sound super fun!
As for your lingerie, I STRONGLY disagree. I dont think there is anything wrong with lingerie - why on earth should you not feel sexy with your husband? Sex wasn't just created for procreation - it was created so that a man and a woman can express their love for each other.
Good thing Amanda didn't invite you to her sex toys party - ha ha ha! :)
I am with Lahni and Jamie on this one. Lingerie is perfectly fine and is also FUN to have and share with your husband. Sex is not just for procreating. Sex is also for a married couple's enjoyment. It's a huge part of marriage. (Hence so many LDS books are written and sold right now. Just take note of how many the next time you are in the bookstore. Many LDS couples are confused about the "enjoyment" part) It's right there in black and white in the Bishop's (church) handbook. It's to be enjoyed and embraced.
As for the appropriateness of lingerie being given at a bridal shower.....that may be questionable. If it is intended to embarrass the recipient.....umm.....maybe not. It's probably more appropriate as a gift between husband and wife......but I honestly can't see anything wrong with a girlfriend purchasing it for her best friend as a gift either.
It sounds like you guys are having a fun summer. Tanner is very lucky to have a "non-terrible" mom. :)
I personally would be the embarrassed type had I got lingerie at my wedding shower. But I agree that there is nothing wrong with wearing it. On the other hand why bother with it when it probably doesn't even stay on very long anyway! :)
To those who say why bother with lingerie I relate it to icing a cake. Presentation, presentation, presentation. And those of us who have had kids need all the lace and silk that we can get to boost our morale. LOL. You crack me up Mandy. Raunchy lingerie or gifts at an open invitation bridal shower are a bit tacky but tasteful lingerie isn't a problem in my opinion. I find the closer you feel to the Spirit, the less you want the raunchy stuff anyway. Seriously you wouldn't even wear a long white silk spagetti strap negilee?
I think that just because something hasn't been quoted from a prophet doesn't mean that it could be inappropriate.
I feel that because we are instructed to wear the garment both day and night in a certain way, I feel that taking it off to put on lingerie is a defilement of/breaking that covenant. These are just my feelings on why I think, for me, it is inappropriate. I don't feel like I need lingerie to feel "sexy" for my husband because I know my husband loves me, clothed or not, for me. I will admitt that when we were first married I had 2 pieces of lingerie, but I always felt dirty and that I was doing something wrong. If other people choose to wear it, then so be it. I don't think any less of people that wear it. And I won't even go there about sex toys...I'm sure you can guess my feelings on that. I believe in being modest and that means even when my husband and I are intimate because I know it doesn't matter to him.
Mandy, do you wear you garments when you go swimming? Do you see mormon basketball players wearing their garments when they play? There are three S's. Swimming, Sports, and Sex. I heard a Stake President say that it is NOT a defilement of the garment to remove them for sex.
I think there is a real problem in the church because we are taught for sooo long that sex is wrong and then all of a sudden we get married and boom, it's not wrong. There are a lot of people that think enjoying sex, just for sex, is sinful and it's NOT! We have been given sex as a means of procreation but it's no mistake that it can be extremely pleasurable also. Do you think that God would give us a gift like that and then expect us to only use it to make babies? Of course not.
If it makes you feel dirty to use lingerie, then by all means, don't use it. But it's not wrong and I've never heard any church authority even hint that it is.
I also know that John loves me for who I am, but I don't wear it for him. I wear it for me because it makes me feel pretty. Just like I don't try to stay healthy and fit for other people. I do it for myself.
I think the decision to wear lingerie is a personal choice and if you feel bad about it then don't do it. But I also think that you should be careful when you make statements about defiling the garment because I personally take offense to that. I have never felt uncomfortable taking off my garments in order to be intimate with my husband and I KNOW that I'm not breaking my temple covenants by doing so.
The article that refers to what I'm talking about is here:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=92ba196b5a1eb010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
Although it doesn't specifically say "no Lingerie", it does say that we should not find reason to remove them and to me it is finding reason to remove them to put something immodest on (wheather it be in your own home or not, it is still immodest) when we take them off to put on lingerie.
This is clearly my opinion and I'm not trying to say anyone is right or wrong. But I DO feel like (and again, this is MY FEELINGS an opinion) it is defiling the garments when anyone takes them off for lingerie. Of course you have to take them off for swimming. I don't wear mine when I swim. I don't know anyone that does. Anyway, the article is worth the read and everyone will read it differently and that's okay. But that's what I based my opinion and feelings on. So take it for what it is. I'm not here to say I'm right and everyone else is wrong. I'm also not blogging about this to start a huge debate on something that is personal to each individual. I'm just making myself clear on where I'm coming from.
Mandy, I am interested in reading this article, but your link doesn't work. Can you email it to me at mccomin@shaw.ca?
In looking for your article, I was on the lds.org website and I found the following article written by Sister Edythe K. Watson for the Ensign in August of 1971. She was a member of the General Relief Society Board. It is called "Lingerie: Feminine and Modest". It talkes all about how to make it beautiful and how to sew it. To me a member of the General Relief Society Board is a General Authority.
I agree that lingerie shouldn't be given at a calling shower which includes everyone from Grandma to the Relief Society president. However, I do think that it can be given between friends and that it can be used in the bedrooms of the members of the church. That being said, I don't think that you HAVE to use it, especially if it makes you uncomfortable. But I don't consider it a bad thing and I have an entire drawer full of it!
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