5 random commentaries

Kathy and I. A person I hope to know the rest of my life.




Chelsie. She has come so far and even though I don't really know her very well, I think she has so much strength to overcome what she's been through in the last year.






Kathy. A girl I work with and just adore!





Jenni. Another girl I work with. She's very fun. This is a very Paris Hilton pose.




Kassidy. A girl that use to work with me but doesn't now. She's the girl in the zebra print dress with the huge red bow. I LOVE this dress and my Mom would love this dress too. It's very one of a kind.

I had a great time at the fashion show last night. The dresses were beautiful and I love that they had a dance with their parent after the presentation of the Grads. It's apparently a huge thing down here...Grad, I mean. It was even better than my grad. Anyways, I guess that's what you get with a small town.

Until next time....enjoy your Friday.

To my Mother

When we were up in Calgary 2 weeks ago, I left my camera at my friends place. So she took it to my brother in law that works close to where she lives. Well, then I forgot it at my Mom's this last weekend. Man! I can't even believe it. I have some really cute pictures and this weekend is Grad and so I won't be able to take pictures of all the cute girls I work with who are graduating. I am not very happy about it but what can you do?

We had really nice weather for the long weekend but now it's raining. I really like the rain, but it limits the things we can do. Okay not so much what we can do, but how long we can do it. Tanner nor I mind getting wet in the rain but we can only stay wet for so long. It's a good day to make a nice cup of Hot Chocolate and curl up and read a book or watch a movie. Or have a nice long bath...if you like that. I, for one, dislike baths very much. I prefer a shower to a bath any day.

I am working on making a lot of birthday and baby cards. It is really crazy, but I know 20 women that are pregnant at this very moment. 1 is about to give birth any day and the rest are all due in the next within the next 5-6 months. So needless to say, I need to get on top of the baby cards for sure. I haven't been as good this year about birthday's. I don't know why, but I don't think about them until it's the day before and then I feel bad because it's too late to send a card. Oh well. Maybe it's better late than never.

So that's about all I've been up to.

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I know my Mom NEVER reads my blog but I wanted to pay public tribute to a woman that I love so immensely and intently that words could never do the emotions I feel for her any justice whatsoever. But here's to hoping that one day, she'll come across this.

For my Mother.
I honor you who gave birth to me and cared for me. Who fed me and clothed me and bathed me. Who taught me to walk in the path of righteousness (even though I didn't always stay on that path).
Thank you for staying home with us when we were kids. For letting us rule the backyard and have fashion shows with the towel (they were old towels) and then wash them so we could have them the next time we played fashion show.
Thank you for building an amazing and beautiful Barbie house for us, where we spent many, many hours playing and imagining things. For letting us make clothes out of your scrap pieces of fabric for our Barbies and for not getting angry when we cut our Barbies hair, or cut your craft ribbon to use for whatever we saw fit to use it for.
For feeding us Kraft Dinner. For letting us lick the spoon of the Kraft Dinner you made that had the extra cheese on it. For your song outbursts. For letting us have Russell and Veronica come over every Sunday. For our trips to Utah. For putting together the funnest games ever for the long road trip.
Thank you for letting us eat the Crab Apples off the tree in the back yard. And for letting us soak the lawn under the trampoline with the sprinkler while jumping on it. For letting us know you didn't like when we jumped off the garage roof onto the trampoline, but for not yelling at us when we did. For letting us have sleepovers. For letting us sleep outside in the middle of winter with Dad.
For teaching us that family is what's important. For teaching us about faith and trusting the Lord.
Thank you for never saying bad or unkind things about us or about anyone else for that matter. For teaching us that gossiping is not okay.
For letting us sleep downstairs for a sleepover when Dad had Chemo. For telling us the truth and not letting us think that we would always have a Dad. For being a strength to us when Dad died. For letting us sleep in your room, in his bed after he died.
Thank you for never giving up on me when I was such a terrible and horrible teenager. Thank you for loving totally and purely unconditionally. Thank you for driving me to the orthodontist every month and always playing the same Marie Osmond tape in the van so we could sing to it together.
Thank you for being so in tune with the Spirit that you were able to raise 4 daughters all on your own for a really long time.
I know I've said this before, but I believe that the Lord knew you were such an extraordinary person that we didn't need 2 parents to raise us for our whole lives because He knew that you could and would have enough love for both you and Dad and that you would be able to do it. He entrusted you with us alone after being with Dad for only 14 years and all you have to do is look at all of us to know that you did a great job.
Thank you for believing in us and for never giving up. You are an amazing woman and I hope I can be more like you in many ways one day.

5 Subs for Friday

So this is an easy one for this week for my 5 for Friday. My 5 Favorite subs right now are:

1. Pizza with bacon and tomatoes, onions, green peppers, olives, a tiny bit of lettuce, ranch and bbq sauce on it

2. Meatball, sometimes with bacon, with olives, lots of pickles, mustard, Parmesan cheese, a little onions, and ranch.

3. Steak with everything on it

4. Chicken bacon ranch Salad

5. Chicken Breast with everything on it.

The sub I make when I can't decide is a veggie. I have always loved the veggie so I know I'll always be in the mood for it.

Not much else to write...I know...boring.

OH! Some guy tonight at work tried to hit on me BIG time...sooooo creepy! He was some university student. What a weirdo! I even said I was happily married and in love and he was like "so?". I hope he doesn't come in when I'm working again.

Until next time...

I miss Tanner

Sadly for me, and happily for Tanner, my Mom took Tanner up to Calgary on Wednesday until we get up there on Saturday for the work bee. As soon as they drove off, I started to cry a little and got all my card making stuff out so I could focus on something else. But it's very unusually quiet and I'm not enjoying it all the time. Some of the time I am, but not all the time. I haven't even gotten to talk to him today yet : ( Ahhhhh....oh well.

BUT! Matt and I treated ourselves to sugary, no good for you in any sense of the word, eat until you can't stop cereal. Matt chose Corn Pops and I chose Fruit Loops. Mmmmm...I'm going to have a bowl for supper (like I did last night) when I'm done blogging. I know, it's not the best supper but who cares...we're livin' it up at our house! Sleeping in, eating all the crap we want, being totally selfish. But I do miss my little guy.

I have been able to make 8 cards so far. It usually takes me about 45 minutes to make one from picking out the card I want to make, to picking the colors, to deciding what ink, what technique, where to apply what to the finished product. A lot of people think it's easy and quick, but if you want a nice card, you have to put some thought into it and take the time to make it look good. Plus embellishing it is the hardest for me. I never know how or what to embellish it with. Buttons? Ribbon? Brads? Embossing? It can be a lot of work to think of cards to make. I'm thinking of taking them over to the new quilt shop here and seeing if I can sell them there.

Anyways, that's what we've been up to. I just want to say a HUGE thank you to all of those who have been praying for us and helping us with leads. It has really helped and we can feel the power of the prayers on our behalf. It is so appreciated and we are so grateful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Until later (if I don't make more cards) or next time....

Father's Day already?

So Matt and I decided that it was not in our best interest to work for a company such as the one he was with. So we took the truck and everything else back up to the company and left it at that. We both feel really good about it and know that something else will work out. I actually feel happy that we got ourselves out of the situation when we did because I'm not sure how much longer we could have lived walking on egg shells, having this dumb company manipulate us. What a headache.

So in spite of my frustrations, I will not post my personal feelings on this company and or boss because heaven forbid I might be accused of slander and get sued. WHATEVER!!! It's okay for people to complain about Telus or Shaw or a place they got a bad haircut at, but I'm not allowed to say anything about Action Auger because it's different if I said anything that wasn't positive about the stupid company right??? *rolling my eyes*

Anyways, my Mom and Aunt arrived from Utah today and they had a great time down there visiting their sister.

Sisters are so great. I hope that I can have a good relationship with my sisters when I'm older. I mean I do, but everyone in a family has their own differences and issues. I guess that's what makes a family so great is having different characteristics. It's nice that we all just fit together and even though there are things that bug us, that's what makes us love each other more.

It's funny this year because I didn't even think about Mother's Day. For me, it's just another day. I don't ever expect it to be anything overly special. I think because I have such an amazing husband and great son, I feel like most days are Mother's day for me. I feel lucky, every day (yes, even despite the crankiness), to be blessed to be a mother and have the wonderful son that I do. There really isn't a week that goes by that for at least one day, I don't feel special because of something Matt or Tanner does. So to have one day out of the whole year to celebrate motherhood is not really anything spectacularly great. I appreciate it, don't get me wrong, but I think if I had more children and they all did something special just for me on that one particular day, I might feel differently.
And on the subject of Mother's day, how come when it's father's day, the fathers don't get something special in church. I have only been in one ward (the Horizon ward) where they did give out something to the Father's. Why is that? Why are mother's or mother's day, more important than father's? Aren't we suppose to be equally yoked? So if we are equally yoked, why do mother's get a flower, or plant or whatever the gift may be and father's don't? Do people think that father's are less appreciative or deserving of something a little extra? There's always someone saying that a mother works 2 full time jobs, but isn't the fact that the husband provides and works outside the home, equally as important to raising a family? Both are working for the greater good but in different ways. The concept is like washing dishes. There's more than one way to wash dishes. Just like there is more than one way to teach a child about work or whatever the goal is. Life is kind of funny that way.

Anyway, that's my philosophical brain talking tonight.

Until next time...

At a loss

Here's where we're at, for those of you wondering and actually praying for us because I know you care and love us.

First just a disclaimer, this post will have hints of bitterness as it is still very fresh and raw in emotion as I write this.

On Friday night at around 6pm, Brham (Matt's loser boss) calls him and tells him that he has a job opening in Calgary and that he wants Matt to take it. Matt then proceeds to tell him that he would not be moving back up to Calgary with his family but that he would consider commuting for the week. Then Matt gets told that Brham is pulling the second truck out of here because there isn't enough work for 2 guys down here. So basically that if Matt doesn't take the job in Calgary that he's going to have to let him go. Action Auger is a very shady company because the boss is a very shady person. So anyhow, Matt led me to believe that he was going to go up there and just work...because he didn't say otherwise and that was the original plan was for him to work this week and then look for a temporary job in Calgary. So I cry for 30 minutes feeling at such a loss and like our hands have been tied. How in the world could Matt find a job in 2 days with it being the weekend???? AGHHHH!!!! I deeply dislike this guy.
So I go off to work totally stressed out about it. I know...I've been stressed out more this month than I have in my whole life. BUT on the good side, it's just a constant stress and not like a huge stress all at once. When I was in grade 10, I had the beginning of ulcers because I was so stressed out. Like a huge brick just dropped on me. This has been building so it's not quite as intense. Anyways...
Matt and I, I'll admit this because we are not perfect, had a very heated discussion on the subject before I had left for work. It was after the call and before I cried and went to work that this conversation took place. So, when I woke up this morning, Matt was getting ready to leave and I asked where he was going because he told me the night before that he wasn't going to go into Lethbridge and apply anywhere because he had applied everywhere I could. Then when I asked straight out if he had applied at and fast food places or gas stations, he said he hadn't because he was going to use them as a last resort. When I asked if he thought that this was a last resort with the information we just got, he said he didn't think it was. So needless to say, I was really upset and just went and cried.
So this morning, he said that he was going into Lethbridge to apply at some fast food places and some other places. I was laying in bed and thankfully he didn't see my face because I rolled my eyes. Matt, I love him sooooo much, is one of those people that you could try to convince him of something realistic and completely sensible until you're blue in the face, but he'll always disagree until he has thought it over himself. It could take him a few months to actually come back to you and say "you know, I think that's a great idea and it really makes sense". He's a thinker and most of the time, that's great, but sometimes, it's NOT!
So we got into a discussion (a calm and rational one) about how we were out of options. Matt said we could just live on EI and I was like "no" etc etc. I keep telling him that unless he goes to school and gets a career, he's not going to be making tons of money...UNLESS he gets into trades which take him away for 12-18 hour days. So then he says something that I will never forget as long as I live. He told me the reason he keeps wanting to find something that will allow him to be at home with his family is because he wishes that his Mom and Dad were there for him when he was little and he wants to have that for us. I was totally shocked! Matt's Dad was an alcoholic and left his wife and kids. He's really come a long way since then, but Matt never really had a relationship with him until we was about 17 or 18.
So I told Matt that he was already a better father than his father had been to him. I told him that I knew that he would never leave us and that he isn't and never will be an alcoholic.
So, long story short....I know, too late, there's a guy in our ward that has a lawn mowing/landscaping business and told Matt that he'd give him his clients because he doesn't have the time to have the business anymore. So Matt is going to look into ride on lawn mowers and do that. He also had a very promising interview at McDonalds, which is a day shift (10 hours a day) but he could do that and then do lawn mowing when he came home. When he had his interview and East Side Marios, they really wanted to hire him there but he needs days because it would be very difficult for me to work days.
So I'm really really really hoping that this works out. It's a little bit of a risk but we don't feel like it's an unreasonable, dangerous risk.
There is no way that we would ever move back to Calgary. I would never put Tanner in the schools up there. I would home school him before I did that. I know the school system down here is much better and I've heard a lot of really good things about it. I know there's a lot of competition and not everyone is going to treat Tanner kindly, but at least I know he has a fighting chance here to have some sort of normalcy. And with the community being very highly populated with members, I know it will make things a bit easier. Clearly all Mormons are not perfect and some get into a lot of trouble, but my theory is; strength in numbers. We'll see how that works out.
So anyways, that's where we're at today. Thank you for all the comforting words and all the prayers. If worse comes to worse, we'll just have to live on welfare.

Until next time...

Waiting

First, to my 3 winners on my blog, I am working on the prize but it might take a week or 2. But I promise it will be worth the wait. And NO, it's not cards. It's something better.

Next week Matt will be in Calgary for his job and I'm fine with that except for at night. I am so afraid to sleep without him in the house that I may not even sleep at all.

Here's a little unknown, recent thing that has been happening to me. I have been having these attacks. I didn't really know what they were at first but then when I was talking to my friend, Suzanne (because I had one the second night we were down in Great Falls), she said that it sounded like I was having anxiety attacks. Probably because I wasn't in my own home. It made total sense to me until 3 nights later, it happened again and the second time, it was really kind of scary. Why? Well because it happened at home while I was laying in bed and it really took a toll on my body because I was shaking for a good 20 minutes before it stopped. I haven't had one since, but I'm really nervous that it will happen while Matt is away. I can't go with Matt because I have work and Tanner has school. Plus I have some other commitments that I have to be here for. I remember when Matt worked at Budget rent a car, there were a couple of nights where he took cars to Red Deer after work at 7pm and didn't get home until 1 or 2am and I stayed up until he was home. I can never go to bed before him because then I don't sleep as well. So, I guess this will be a trial run to see if I can handle him working in Calgary if he gets a job up there. He'll be working but he's applying at other jobs while he's up there because we've run out of options and we're quickly running out of money. I'm working 6 nights a week to try and keep some sort of income coming in, but they are not giving him hardly any hours. With only having heard back from 4-5 of the 2-3 dozen places he's applied, we are quickly running out of choices. I have a little bit of faith that things will work out but I'm not really sure I understand why now?
Anyways, enough about that. That is the ongoing saga of my life at the moment *rolling my eyes*. I have 'word vomit' that I will write on a piece of paper when this is all done and then throw it out and I'll be done with it.

So I'm back with my 5 for Friday. This week, I'm going to post what I'm most looking forward to in the next 3 months.

1. Sitting with my feet in the pool, reading, while Tanner plays and splashes.

2. Tanner taking swim classes and Gymkidz

3. Bike riding

4. Matt getting a job

5. Canada Day Parade and activities. We went to the Parade last year but then we didn't do much else because Tanner had a bladder infection so we had to stay close to home. This year, I'm looking forward to maybe going to the stampede here in town.

OH!!! I almost forgot. The number one, most important thing I am looking forward to is Barbecuing! I can not even wait. We are going to have great ones this year. Maybe we might even have a big BBQ with our friends. We were a bit snobbish last year and didn't really have anyone over for one. Maybe because we didn't really know that many people last summer. Or maybe because we didn't have lawn furniture. We only have a couple of chairs, but I guess people could bring their own. So, we will be doing A LOT of that so if you're in this neck of the woods, come on by for some good barbecuing. Matt is a very good barbecuer.

Because I missed last week, I'm going to also write 5 things that I am really grateful for right now. Yes I'm actually grateful for thing...even though it sounds like I'm not. I really am. I'm just trying to keep things in better perspective.

1. For Matt being home. Yes, I realize this is a bit of an oxymoron, but I'm grateful for the time we've been able to spend together and grow closer.

2. For Tanner's accpmplishments in speech and other areas. This makes me enourmously happy.

3. For food storage. I'm glad that we have somewhat of a food storage supply. It's not anything big, but it's enough for us to get by if we need it and lately, we've needed it.

4. For Love. For the Love of my family, for the Love I feel from the Savior through the blessings he gives me each day to make each day a better day than the one before. For loving me enough to bless me with a knowledge that I will learn from this present experience. For loving me enough to keep me safe wherever I go. For loving me enough to open my eyes and mind to things I am studying in the scriptures, for filling me with knowledge...even if it is just a little bit at a time.

5. For my life. In a world where people seem to be dying so young, I am sooooo grateful for my life on this earth. I actually look forward to getting old because I know that each day that I live, will be a day to try to be better and gain more knowledge and make that day better than the day before. It's like when you are on a really great ride and you just want to stay on and the ride operator keeps giving you another turn on the ride even though maybe you yelled that you wanted to get off, at the end of the ride (or the day), you look forward to the riding the same ride and overcoming whatever fears you have of it. Or looking forward to the joys. Or going on it and seeing (or learning) something new.

Anyways, that's all for now.

Spiritual thought and Mother's day

My friend sent this to me and I really liked it so I thought I'd post it here for everyone else to read:


Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the
sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of shag
carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' and get their answer when a little
voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child' s growth is not measured by height or
years or grade... It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to
Momma or Mother...

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it.

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that
she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must
be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the
place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring
that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman
with passing years only grows!


On a different note, as I was studying my scriptures this morning (after a wet, but not too wet, run) I read this verse (I'm only in 2 Nephi)

16 "And I, Nephi, did build a temple; and I did construct it after the manner of the temple of Solomon save it were not built of so many precious things; for they were not to be found upon the land wherefore, it could not be built like unto Solomon's temple. But the manner of the construction was like unto the temple of Solomon; and the workmanship thereof was exceedingly fine"

So here's my thoughts on this verse because I never thought of it like that before. So it didn't matter back then that the temple wasn't built with precious things but it was built none the less. So how can we apply this in our lives??? It doesn't matter what we have (or can afford) on the outside, what matters are our intentions and what's on the inside. Our testimonies, our faith etc. It doesn't matter if we can't afford the nicest things in life or even one nice thing, what really matters is being obedient and doing the best that we can.

Then a few verses before in verse 11 it says:

And the Lord was with us; and we did prosper exceedingly; for we did sow seed, and we did reap again in abundance. And we began to raise flocks, and herds, and animals of every kind.

It made me think about how we can grow if we sow and reap ourselves spiritually. What kind of person would I (or anyone) be if I was more diligent and faithful about sowing and reaping?? What more could my potential be if I was more kind, or gave more, or prayed more, or had more faith, or obeyed more willingly? What is my potential?

It was a really great study today and really made me think a lot.

We were unable to have FHE last night because I got called in early so we had our FHE tonight. The lesson was on keeping the commandments. We talked about how we have commandments to help keep us safe because we are all Heavenly Father's treasures and he wants us to be safe (through keeping the commandments) so we can return to live with Him. So we talked about that and then we went on a little treasure hunt. It was really fun. Matt is in charge this month of FHE so it was great. Tanner was so cute...we were talking about rules and I asked him if we had rules in our house and he said "yes" and when I asked him what they were, he said "no hitting, screaming and no pushing". It was great to know that he actually understands on some level what rules are. It makes me feel like we are on the right path.

It was a busy day today. I sorted and organized our back hall space. It was insanely overcrowded. Then I took down Tanner's bunk bed because he doesn't even sleep in it anymore. I'll post a picture later of what I did. It's hard to explain it. But it opens up his room and makes it less crowded.

So now I'm off to work in a bit. So until next time....

Should I???

I really should be getting to bed right now but I just finished reading my friends' blogs...and some blogs that I just "stalk" and I feel like I have stuff to say.

First off, thank you to everyone for the kind comments on my previous post. Sharon, you made me cry a little because that is the nicest thing you could have said/written.

I got to go to Relief Society this week (I get to go for the last 15 minutes while Matt sits with my class for closing exercises) and the lesson was on Motherhood. I so wish that I was there for the whole lesson. It was SOOOOO good. Motherhood is a subject that I could never get tired of talking about.

I am so thankful for the child that I was blessed with. I know that having a child with differences has made me grown in ways that I couldn't have otherwise. There are always moments where you roll your eyes or your child is misbehaving, but underneath it all, I never wish that I could have a different child. Or even a "normal" child. Tanner is such a blessing in so many unfathomable ways. The joy I have being his mother is like none other. Other than having a testimony of the gospel and of Jesus Christ, there is no greater joy to me than being HIS mother. Not just A mother, but a mother to Tanner.
I think sometimes, people don't know how to act or treat people with differences and I understand that. After coming out of the hospital from being there 12 days, I didn't know how to act around people that had "normal" babies because Tanner was all I knew and came to love. But in time, it wasn't so awkward for me. There will always be people that look and have questions or say mean things but then there are those like the kids at his school that I don't even know that know Tanner and say hi. Or those who go out of their way to help him and include him. Or those who share with him, or help him. And children of all ages. Today when we were leaving the school there was a girl that is in our ward who was playing at the park and she said hi to Tanner as we walked by. She's 2 years older than him and it kind of surprised me that she said hi. 2 weeks ago, this same girl asked to help Tanner specifically in sharing time with matching some stuff. It just amazes me at how kind and loving people are. It will help make my job a little easier when he gets older and kids get meaner. I will be able to say "look at all the people that do love you no matter what"

Life is made up of so many little moments. Like the moments that take your breath away because as your helping them put on their shoes and they just will say "Mommy, I love you", or moments that make you want to cry because they sing I am a child of God to his little monkey, or moments that surprise you when they ask you to tell them the consequence of a rule they broke, or when you get up in the morning and ask you if you need your glasses on to see. There are so many little moments that make up the joy of being a mother. The supposed big stuff isn't that big anymore. It's the little things that build up to it that make it so great. Like working on learning to cut wtih scissors for the last 6 months and he can finally do it. Or hearing his teachers say how well he is doing.

I love being a mom.

3 Winners and new shoes

I went over to random.org to help determine the winners for the pay it forward blog. So now Jamie, Sharon and Jenn E have to do the same on their blog. I typed in everyone name in order of when the commented on the blog and then hit "randomize" and this is the list that it came up with. Congrats to the winners.


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True Random Number ServiceList Randomizer
There were 7 items in your list. Here they are in random order:

3. Jamie
7. Sharon
5. Jenn E
2. Sarah
6. Kalina
4. Amy
1. Tara
Timestamp: 2008-05-03 07:00:07 UTC




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Also, I had to take back my running shoes and get new ones. I was getting blisters on my arches and so my new ones....well, I'm totally in love with.









On another note, Matt has kidney stones. This is his 4th time so it's not new. It's just really inconvenient right now with the lack of work he already has. Now he might have to have have more time off if he can't pass the stones to have them broken up or if they're too big, removed. It doesn't help that I am totally, completely and utterly stressed out right now. I'm trying my best to keep things together and just keep my head above water for the time being but things keep falling on my "plate" and it just doesn't have any more room for anything else.

So that's life in a nutshell right now. And that's why I haven't posted for a while. I'm just kinda stuck in a rut right now and I'm trying to get out of it but the light at the end doesn't exist right now. So instead of whining and complaining and being a baby, I'm just going to keep my mouth shut until I can get my head back in the game. So if I don't post for a while, please just bear with me. I will be back when I'm able to "suck it up".

Until whenever....