I'm on a roll

I think this is a new record for how much I've written in a while.

I came across a saying and it was really what I needed today.

"Your age doesn't define your maturity, your grades don't define your intellect and rumors don't define who you are."

I know that sometimes I feel like I am still judged for my past and that's not something I want. Rumors are very hurtful and can destroy relationships. A person's past doesn't always define who they are now or who they are trying to become. People change and just because a person made bad choices in the past doesn't mean they are a bad person now. If people choose to believe rumors about someone, then that's on their head. I guess for me, I'm kind of a take or leave it person. If you want to like me and/or get to know me, great. If you don't, whatever...it's not my loss. My past has taught me some pretty important lessons in life. I'm not totally un-affected by people. I do get my feelings hurt sometimes and there are things that upset me but I'm not an overly sensitive person to negative things. For the most part, I just can't be bothered to care too much about what someone who doesn't really know me or what I've been through thinks about me. The people who take the time to get to know me and vice versa, are some of my dearest friends.

I am not defined by my past. Period. I am not the same person as I was back then. I'm not 100% different, but I'm not a selfish, angry, rebellious teenager. The very best advice I've gotten in the last few years is this "You don't need the acceptance of others to feel worthy". I think about that every day and try to live my life accordingly. But that's where I say that I'm not totally un-affected by people. I still get upset when I feel like I'm being treated like I was when I was that teenager. When I was a teenager, I didn't care too much if someone got upset by something I did or said (or didn't do/say) but NOW, I don't like if I've un-intentionally hurt or upset someone. I believe that I am quick to apologize as I've been told on several occasions to stop apologizing for everything. It's a process and I'm still learning. It makes me grateful to know that I have people in my life that love me for me and accept me for who I am no matter what I did in my past. I like where I am and who I am and hope to continue to become. No one's perfect and that's okay.

P.S. the Root Beer Float Cupcakes were divine! I had to give all but 4 away so I wouldn't eat them all tonight. I STRONGLY urge you to go and make some. You will not be disappointed. You can get the Root Beer extract at the craft store here in town. I got Watkins but it was a bit pricey ($7)...but so worth it now that I know what I can use it for.