What does the title of my post have to do with each other???? They don't. It's just what I wanted to name it because of 2 different things I was thinking about.
First, kidney beans are killing me! Not in the literal sense but they are killing my arms. When I'm warming up on my treadmill, I use cans of kidney beans for my arm exercises. It is quite intense some mornings but I'm learning to manage. I don't have dumb bells so I have to use what I have and that something is cans of kidney beans. It's the same thing right? I'll get the same result, don't you think? lol
Stars...oh man, I LOVE doing my paper route these days because I get to see a sky full of crystal clear stars. Millions and millions of them. They are so beautiful. On Monday, I almost fell off my bike because I was busy gazing up at the stars. Such a blessing to be able to see them so clearly. We don't have the light or air pollution that Calgary does so we see them much clearer here.
If any of you are looking for a good FHE lesson, this week I read the book "Mister Penny" (it's about working together) and then we cleaned the house. I don't think I can remember a time when Tanner was so excited to clean. He wanted to empty the garbage's all by himself (normally Matt helps him do this) and actually did it. He cleaned up his toys quicker than he ever has before. Anyways, it was a great book and taught a good lesson.
Some of you might have noticed that my blog is not private anymore. I've decided to open it up again for a little while. That is why the comments have to be moderated now. If any anonymous people want to comment they can but I get to decide if their comments are going to be published. I was just feeling really uncomfortable, previously, with having unknown people make rude comments. I feel like this way, if they want to remain unknown to the public but want to (they don't have to) tell me privately who they are, then they can still remain anonymous/unknown to the public while still enjoying my blog. I hope that makes sense. I want everyone to enjoy my blog but I don't want it to be a source of contention or back biting between my commenter's like it had started to become before I made it private. Anyways, I hope that my blog will something that people want to read and find enjoyable.
To end my post I'll end with a quote that came in a local newsletter
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
3 years ago
12 comments:
Don't worry about rude comments. I always delete everything I don't like on my blog and if anyone has a problem with that they can start their own blog to complain about it. That's the beauty of the internet!
This is a mistake Mandy. We were glad that your blog was private because then mom-members wouldnt have to read your "opinions" and get ideas about members that are NOT a part of our teachings.
I think a lot of the times you ask peoples opinions on things is only so you can tell them what yours is.
I am not saying this to be harsh, but I am worried about you. You are purposefully being excluded from activites and events due to your opinions and how you seem to enjoy making other people feel like they are beneath you. There are a lot of people who log into your blog just so they can discuss what crazy ideas you have now. That is their problem to deal with.
I hate seeing you at church and knowing that if someone would just tell you how you are alienating a lot of people, your life could be so much more.
I would also discuss your feelings on lingerie with your Mother. Im sure she would be able to explain why so many members were VERY insulted by you stating that it was defling the temple garments to remove them for intimacy. Not to change your own opinion on the subject, as that is a personal choice, but to help you see that making a statement like that publicly is exactly why non-members have ideas such as "Mormons arent allowed to dance" or "Its true because I know a member of the church and she told me"
I truly hope you can take these thoughts in the manner in which they were meant and that is concern for you, and the manner in which you are being viewed. I love you Mandy, and would love to see you around more activites.
I really have been debating defending myself to this anonymous commenter. Is it even worth it? My character and name are being attacked and so for that reason I am going to defend and explain myself because clearly, you don't really know me.
I have a person in my life that, I felt at the time, was constantly verbally judging me and making negative comments about Tanner and my ability to be a parent. It had become so upsetting to me that I decided I needed to pray about it because I didn't want my relationship with this person to become ruined because of my frustrations. After I prayed about it, I felt much better becaue I realized that the individual probably wasn't saying those things to intentionally hurt me, and that I didn't know the intentions of their heart.
So what does this have to do with your comment? A lot.
First and foremost: My opinions do NOT define me or define who I am. Everybody has opinions in life. Just like I chose to be frustrated and upset at the things this person was saying, you and those who intentionally excluding me are choosing to believe what you hear and choosing to define and exclude me because my opinions are different/crazy/strong. Ultimatley, that's your choice. If you actually talked to my friends (or got to really know me) they would say other things about me like that I'm honest, kind, a good friend, and loving. I'm 100% sure they'll say I'm opinionated but that isn't what makes me who I am.
I'm sorry if you are someone that was offended by something I have expressed my opinion on.
A blog is hard sometimes because you can't always read facial expressions or tone in the post. My intention in asking people's opinion or advice on something is because I am genuinely interested in what other people think and feel. It has never been and never will be to prove that I am right or that I am better than someone else. I am honestly really interested in what someone else thinks/feels.
As for implying that I make a bad name for the church through my opinions, I have NEVER stated in a post that my opinions and feelings are church doctrine or approved/supported from the First Presidency. I am not really sure where you are coming from on this one. So maybe you can explain it clearer to me. I know for a fact that I'm not the only one in the world that have the same opinions on certain things...like the lingerie. I've talked to people who feel the same way about it as I do.
A blog is sometimes like reading a tabloid. If you don't know that person and know the intentions of their heart, how can you (or anyone else) judge or criticize them?
I hope you will take the time to really get to know me for who I am and not say you know me because you read my blog, or listen to gossip, or have talked to me a few times.
I am not a perfect person and I don't pretend to be, and I most certainly am not better than anyone else in this world. If fact, very often I don't even feel worthy to have the privilige of having a body and being on the earth because I am so unperfect. So, no, I don't think I'm better than you or anyone else.
The church is perfect but the people in it are not. Let's alltry to remember that when we feel the urge or need to judge or criticize them. We're supposed to be building each other up...not tearing each other down. By listening to gossip or talking about someone else's opinion, they are tearing down other people and Christ want's us to love one another.
I always love the quote, No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, by Eleanor Roosevelt. Same with feeling offended. I think it totally applies here, wouldn't you think?
I find using empty laundry soap jugs with water or sand in them are a little easier to hang on to on the treadmill...just a thought.
M, I totally agree with your comments. Thank you, thank you. Jugs would be easier to hold on to but too heavy for my liking yet. Maybe I'll have to build up to them ; )
Ooo - so glad I can add you to my 'google reader' so I won't get behind on commenting on your posts like I am now!!
I want to take a minute to defend Mandy to your anonymous commenter. First, I want to say that I have known Mandy for most of my married life - so about 8 years I guess. We are VERY different people with VERY different opinions about life. I am fairly liberal, especially when it comes to the church and Mandy is uber conservative. If you read most of comments, I think I disagree with most of Mandy's controversial discussions. :)
Here's the thing: Mandy is one of my dearest friends. We disagree about a lot of things, and when it comes to a lot of those things, we STRONGLY disagree. But we are both able to see past our different views and opinions and into each others hearts. I have NEVER felt judged by Mandy. In fact, Mandy is one of the most true and loyal people I have ever met. I know she will ALWAYS have my back, NO MATTER WHAT. When other people have let me down, Mandy has been there for me. When other people have made me feel like less of a person because of things I have said or done, Mandy has built me back up.
If people in your small-minded town are leaving Mandy out because of things she might have said, then YOU are the ones who are acting in an un-Christlike manner. You have judged (misjudged) Mandy and that is your problem. You are the ones who are missing out on a really wonderful person. If there are things about Mandy that intimidate you, or turn you off, you need to take a good hard look in the mirror, because YOU are not perfect and you are completely missing the point of us all being created so differently. You say you love Mandy, but you do not. If you do not love someone for WHO THEY ARE, then you do not truly love them. I can't believe that people in your ward can not look beyond outward appearances and look into someone's heart.
You say that Mandy asks for people's opinions so she can spout her own, but this only proves again how you do not know her. Again, I quite often disagree with Mandy about things, but whenever I discuss things with her, she always listens to the other side, weighs it, and takes it into her heart and I have seen her change her thoughts many times based on someone else's perspective. How many people do you know actually listen to other people's opinions and admit that they might have been wrong? A perfect example of this is that she posted your extrememly rude comment when she could have just deleted it. I think it just makes you look like a bitch, but some of your little ward friends that read Mandy's blog so they can talk about her, might think that it makes her look bad, yet she posted it anyway.
Mandy also stands by what she believes in. She isn't swayed by the world, which many of us are. She truly wants to live the gospel to it's fullest and doesn't care if that means she doesn't always fit in. She doesn't need shallow minded people in her life to be her 'friend' because she isn't true to herself. In my opinion, she is better off without a friend like you - especially since you aren't even courageous enough to say who you are. You could have privately e-mailed her to tell her your thoughts and I know she would have had nothing but respect for your opinions. This would have shown much more love and a lot less malice.
Mandy has never claimed that what she believes is what the church states. Maybe you should put a disclaimer on your blog Mandy, just so idiots don't get confused about the difference between your URL and lds.org. If people are dumb enough to quote what people state on their personal blogs as church doctrine, then there's really not a lot that can be done to help these people.
cont....
My rant continued... (apparently it was too long! HA!)
She has also never, ever, claimed to be perfect. If you mistake Mandy's intentions to serve the Lord with all her heart as arrogance, then again, you have misjudged her and you do not know her. She is the most giving, sincere, unselfish person and it pisses me right off that you and your 'friends' can't see this.
If you don't like what Mandy has to say, DON'T READ HER DAMN BLOG. If you can't be less shallow, then stop pretending to be her friend.
I'm sorry if this is coming off rude, but no one ever accused me of being uber nice. I will defend Mandy to anyone - she is a dear, dear friend and a good, amazing and kind person and does not deserve your comments - even if you think you were doing her a favor by telling her how you exclude her from things. Mandy's too nice of a person to say what a bitchy comment that was, but I'm not.
Love you Mandy. Hope you don't mind me spouting off on your blog. Again.
Ok, well I just read anon's comment and I can't not say anything. I think I may have said something about this on another post, but one of the things I admire about you, Mandy, is your ability to listen to others' opinion, completely disagree and still be friends. Some strongly worded comments went back and forth between the two of us over the lingerie issue and I was never offended (even though I may have said I was...) and I don't think you were either. I love reading your controversial posts because I love to discuss issues like that with people who have a different view point. I can often learn something and even though I doesn't change my mind about anything, it gives me a new perspective.
I have never thought that you were asking for opinions just so that you could post your, but even if that is why you did it, who cares? It's your blog and you can post whatever you want to!
To anon, I think it's really cowardly of you to post your comment without leaving your name. And if what you say is true about the people in your ward making fun of Mandy then you all need to look inward and realize that you are the ones that need to improve upon yourselves, not Mandy. I cannot believe the closed-minded attitude you've shown in your comment and also demonstrated that the other women in your ward have. This is why I could never bring myself to live in a place like Raymond. Don't you have anything better to do with your time than talk about Mandy and her so-called crazy ideas? Get a life!!
If you had the courage to post this comment with a name or send a private email to Mandy about this issue, it could be viewed as true caring for her, but because you have chosen to hide behind the internet, your malicious intent is clear. You claim to be worried about Mandy but if that is true, why not speak to her in person about this? Why post an anonymous comment on the internet for anybody to read? It's clear that you are just trying to provide more fodder for the "make fun of Mandy" fire.
You say that you are disappointed that Mandy's views will now be out there for anybody to read and think are the teachings of the church, but your comment is actually much more damaging than anything Mandy has ever said. Your actions and the actions of the people in your ward who log into Mandy's blog just to make fun of her are in no way in line with the teachings of the church. Have you forgotten that we are taught to be Christ-like in all our dealing with others? I am amazed at the hypocrisy that your comment displays!
Anyway, Mandy, I love your blog, I'm glad it's public again because it's much easier to keep up that way! Please don't allow anon's comment to change what you post about and how. There are always going to be people in your life that don't understand you and don't get what you are all about and anon has clearly shown that she is one of those people. You can only just continue being you and ignoring those that just don't get it. You don't need people like that in your life. I really like M's quote. It's funny, I just heard that quote somewhere else recently, but it's a good one!
I want to respond, but I'm not sure it's the best thing to do right now. Sorry : (
Thank you Jamie and Lahni for your comments. I really appreciate that you know who I am and where I come from.
Here's the bottom line...I don't go to church because I want everybody to like me or include me in their things. I go to church because I love the Lord and I love the gospel and learning through my trials. My reason for going to church isn't to talk about other people or gossip, it's about going because I want to because that's where I feel the spirit...even if I do know that other people don't like me.
Let's be realistic, I don't honestly think that everyone in the whole world or ward will like me or even WANT to get to know me. That doesn't matter. But when a person listens to gossip and doesn't stand up for what they know is right, even though it may be hard, then the listener is, in my eyes, equally as bad as the gossipers.
I do agree that the way that this anonymous person chose to present this information wasn't the most tasteful or respectful way, but I do understand that some people try to avoid confrontation. I think it could have been (and still can be) dealt with in a more quiet, private, personal manner and not so publicly.
I didn't post the comment from anonymous so that my friends could back me up and say "mandy's so great". I posted it because I felt that I needed to respond to the comment and defend myself.
I understand that you (anonymous) were trying to look out for me, even if it was in a very public way, but the manner in which you went about it was and isn't very kind. If you didn't or don't have my e-mail address, you simply could have dropped a note off at my house. I really hope you have the courage to stand up for what is right.
My life will go on as it has regardless of the fact that I now know for certain that people are gossiping about me and purposefully excluding me from things.
In the eternal perspective, that doesn't matter. I know that I may have a rough outer edge, but I know and I know the Lord knows, the intentions of my heart and I am doing the best that I know how to do in my life right now and that's all that matters.
Mandy,
I think the way you have handled this just demonstrates that all those people are wrong about you and that they really don't understand you at all. I would not have been nearly as generous or as nice if I had gotten a comment like that. Good for you!
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