A short public message for Jamie

Jamie, hello, of course I watched Grey's!!! I can't even wait. I was going to stop watching it at the end of this season, but now I HAVE to watch it next season. I think George is out. His story line depleted this season so unless they have something totally awesome for him, I can't see him returning. And we will visit in June when I drop Tanner off for the week. I believe it's the 26th that I'll be up. It's a Wednesday for sure. The Wednesday before July 1st.

Okay now for all those other people who possibly read my blog....

It's been a great 2 weeks. Calgary was really fun and we were all very productive. We had a great Mother's Day and celebration of my sisters' birthdays. Megan will finally get some clothes she wanted that fit her after having baby "E". He's such a doll...no pun intended. He didn't like Matt too much though. He got scared when he started talking to him. Maybe with time Matt will be less scary...lol. It's a bit of a sensitive subject for Matt. A small hit on his self esteem. Most kids/babies love Matt. And I'm not just saying that. Matt is amazing with all my friends' children. He's just such a good Dad.

I found this paragraph from a talk that Julie B. Beck gave back in November 2007. It's part of a really great talk and I would encourage all of you to read it because it is a really great talk (I know, I said that already).

" Mother's who know do less. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world's goods in order to spend more time with their children"

I believe in that quote full heartedly. I love that so much. It helped to confirm to me that not having T.V. in our house and not having a computer and only listening to church (because that's the only wholesome music I have) music is helping us be more spiritual and helping the spirit be in our home more frequently and more strongly. I am glad that Matt and I made that decision because it has blessed us in many ways. We do spend more time with each other and building our relationships with each other. And that's the most important thing right now. Well, one of them.

The weather has finally started to be consistently warm that it we don't have to dress in layers.

Here's a nice little story for you. ANd I would love any of your opinions to tell me if you think I made the right choice.

When Tanner rides his bike, he likes to "park" them behind the vehicles. We are telling him every time he goes out to park in the special spot he picked (which is on a grass hill on our yard) and not behind the car or truck (it's Matt's Dad's, not ours...on loan). So a couple weeks ago, he left his tricycle behind the car and as I reversed I hit it. It didn't do any damage, just scratched it a little bit. We reminded him again that it's not safe to leave his bike behind the car or truck because they could get wrecked and then he would have no bike to ride. So last week he parked his 2 wheeler with training wheels behind the truck. We got in the truck much later that day and when I went to pull out of the driveway I heard this "klunk". I knew right away what it was. So I jumped out and got the bike and showed Tanner that the front wheel was completely bent and that he wouldn't be able to ride it. He seemed a bit sad but then said "you can buy me a new bike". To which I said that we could not buy him a new bike because he needed to take care of the bike he already had (plus we don't have $60 to buy him a new bike every time his bike gets run over). So then he didn't say anything and I told him he would have to ride his tricycle again. When we went to my Mom's on the long weekend, she has a bike for him that someone gave to her. We'll let him have it when he comes home for July 1st from Calgary but did I do the right thing in not buying him another bike? Is there anything else I should have said to him? How can I help teach him to care for his bike? That is my wonderings...

Well, I should go and pick up the little munchkin from school. He only has 5 more days left...crazy! He has his final music performance tomorrow and Megan and my Aunt Carolyn are coming down for it. I'm really stoked about it. It should be really cute. Anyways, Have a great day!

up and coming weekend

I just picked up the car with it's new tires...nice!

I am really excited to go to Calgary this weekend. I'm sure my Mom will have lists of things for us to do, which she generally always has.

Last night Tanner was the Goalie at Soccer and he did a great job. He was such a little star goalie...my biased opinion. He's really enjoying soccer right now. I do have to get him some new running shoes because right now he's only got one pair and they're his indoor school shoes. I know I can get a pair at Wal-Mart for $5.98 so I think that's what I will do. Next year, I'm going to put him in Soft Ball just for something different...expose him to a different sport. I think it will be good. We have to try and find a sport that doesn't involve too much physical contact because of his kidney (he only has one and we must protect his good one from getting damaged).

Well, I think that's it for now. Happy Long weekend everyone!

Baby it's warm in here

I think I'm getting baby fever. There have been a number of babies born to women around me or announcing of babies coming. I'm itchy. Itchy all over. Itchy for a baby...let's hope it happens soon.

On another note, we have to get new tires put on our car tomorrow. We got a flat tire this weekend coming home from Calgary and it was repaired but it didn't last so we are getting new tires. Such is life.

Matt got a aerating job. Hopefully he'll get some good business this summer from people. Especially if we are going to have a baby

This month is so busy! I can't believe that it's almost half over. Time is so precious. There's none to waste.

Well, I'm off to find some books for T-Dog (Tanner's new nickname...apparently). I'm not sure I like it but Matt does so whatever. At least it's not the horrid nickname my sister's friends use to call her in jr.high.

I am so super excited about the Grey's finale this week.

More later.

What do you think

Last night at book club (yes, I know, I'm such a nerd...lol) we got on the topic of obedience to laws of the land vs laws of God. I heard a talk...or it was in part of a talk...that mentioned that when the law of the land is different from the commandments, we are suppose to try to live the law of the land. Then I got thinking today, isn't that what the article of faith say is We believe in being subject to kings presidents rulers and magistrates in obeying, honoring and sustaining the law.

We got talking about hos doctors aren't allowed to suggest certain alternatives because it's against their oath or whatever...but they could call you up (or talk to you in church) when they are outside of medical walls and tell you those alternatives. Wouldn't that be considered, in a black and white world, deception or lying? When you withhold the truth that's not being totally honest.

I'm reading (as if I wouldn't be) this book called "The Tomas Jefferson Education". It is such a good book. I am actually considering the possibility of thinking of home schooling Tanner because of reading this book. Education has, in many societies, become socialistic and not so much about educating. This, in my opinion, is not the way to educate children. It talks about the difference of teaching vs educating. Teaching is more about the conveyor belt type life and educating is more about inspiring and teaching kids to think for themselves and not what the government wants people to think.

You can see it a lot in schools. All you have to do is look at the fact that recently they are talking about letting children out of discussions on anything religious...be it evolution, or even the creation of the world. They basically are taking God out of schools altogether and not allowing kids to make the choice. There was a really good sentence in the paper today that I will have to post another time because it was so good. I think the people who are so worried about this are most likely people who have no strong religious affiliation and are concerned that their child will be easily influenced to believe something else. Why should that matter? We live in a country where we are supposed to be able to worship freely, right? So how does controlling the topic of religion allow that freedom to citizens of the country?

I think it's almost comedic that the government tells us or tries to prove to us that they are such heroes in giving us "free" things like 'free' health care, or 'freedom' of speech, or 'freedom' of religion. Yet those things aren't really free. We all will have to pay double in health premiums as of July 2010. We don't really have freedom of speech or religion because if we did, those who believe something different from what the government thinks you should believe in, wouldn't be persecuted for believing something different. Well, that's my rant for now. Just something to 'chew' on, I guess.

Anyways...what do you think?

random musings

Tonight Matt and I are going on a date with my best friend and her husband. We are going to see the movie about wolverine. I am not a huge x-man/wolverine fan. In fact, they kind of bore me but I really need to go on a date with Matt and I love spending time with my best friend so I am going to go. Who knows, maybe I'll enjoy the movie...lol. It does have Hugh Jackman and he's pleasant on the eyes. I'm excited to go. Matt and I haven't been to a movie since...well let's just say I can't remember the last time we've gone together with each other. I think maybe it was Christmas...I can't remember. Matt got 7 movie passes for his birthday and he's sharing one with me so we can go out together. I sure do love him. I have to admit that I'm a tad bit selfish when it comes to gifts. If I got a movie pass, I would have a hard (although it wouldn't be impossible) time sharing it with Matt. It would be worth the sacrifice though.

Last night I learned to crochet and today, I have a migraine. It's very muscle intensive to do that. I get all tense and then the next day, I pay. I have to learn to relax a bit more. I am making a blanket. A baby blanket...no not for me. I don't know who, but it's blue. So clearly for a boy.

I have some quotes out of the book that I just finished reading that I thought were good and I would like to share.

Bruce C. Hafen: When troubles come, the parties of a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they are receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions give 50 percent; covenant companions give 100 percent. Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will. Jesus taught about contractual attitudes when he described the "hireling," who preforms his conditional promise of care only when he receives something in return. When the hireling "seeth the wolf coming," he "leaveth the sheep, and fleeth...because he...careth not for the sheep." By contrast, the Savior said, "I am the good shepherd,...and I lay down my life for the sheep" (John 10:12-15). Many people today marry as hirelings. And when the wolf comes, they flee. This idea is wrong. It curses the earth, turning parents' hearts away from their children and from each other (D&C 2)

Bruce R. McConkie: From the moment of birth into mortality to the time we are married in the temple, everything we have in the whole gospel system is to prepare and qualify us to enter that holy order of matrimony which makes us husband and wife in this life and in the world to come.
Then from the moment we are sealed together by the power and authority of the holy priesthood-the power to bind on earth and have it sealed eternally in the heavens-from that moment everything connected with revealed religion is designed to help us keep the terms and conditions of our marriage covenant, so that this covenant will have efficacy, virtue and force in the life to come. Thus celestial marriage is the crowning ordinance of the gospel, the crowning ordinance of the house of the Lord. Thus the family unit is the most important organization in time or in eternity

Those quotes just really stuck out to me. In a world where the family is being torn down all around us, I just feel so strongly about keeping our families from being destroyed by the adversary. We have to have strong foundations in our marriages to have a strong family so I felt the 2 quotes were kind of connected in a way.

On another note, my Mom bought us a clothes line. One of those umbrella ones. I'm so excited to have it. I only have one line across my backyard so I'm limited in the amount of clothes I can put on it. With air drying all our clothes (except towels and underclothing) we have quite a bit of clothes. I usually have 3 loads of clothes to do in addition to the towels/sheets and underclothes. It will be great to have more line to dry clothes. I love doing laundry. I love seeing the clothes blowing in the breeze. I'm kind of a nerd...I know. It is just so satisfying to me to do laundry. I love sorting the clothes and organizing them in the washer so I can fit them all in so one side isn't heavier than the other. I've never dreaded doing laundry. I'm weird, it's okay. I dread other things like cleaning my room, or sweeping. I don't like sweeping. I like mopping, but not sweeping.

We are going to Calgary for the May long weekend and I'm excited. It's the first time since Christmas that Matt will be able to come with us. He is now working at the county of Warner and so he has Fridays off so we'll enjoy a bit of a longer holiday. Seeing as we don't go many places together, it will be a nice treat for us to be together as a family. He won't get 2 weeks vacation since this is just a seasonal job so any extra long weekend together will be awesome. He's been off this week and in the past I would normally dread when he's home for long periods of time, but I've actually quite enjoyed it this time. I usually dread it because it kind of wrecks mine and Tanner's routine. But this time, he has been really helpful and even trimmed the lawn and he's getting Tanner new bike tires today. So it's been great. I guess I feel like I'm in a different place in my life and I am not as easily annoyed at change or difference. I think that's what makes it different this time. I'm trying to just go with the flow and not be uptight about things that really don't matter. I am trying to look at the eternal perspective and choose weather what is going on is worth getting upset or annoyed at. It's change, but I feel good about it.

Well, I think that's it for now. I hope everyone is having a great day and enjoying the weather (it's pretty nice here).

I can't stop!

I can not stop reading. I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading. I have read 8 books in the last 4 months and I am itching to start reading another but I'm trying to not read more than 2 books a month. PLUS I am reading the Book of Mormon, Old Testament, and D&C in addition to these other books. How do I have time for normal every day stuff like picking up Tanner, making supper, doing laundry, cleaning???? I don't know, but I do. Maybe because I'm up at 6am every morning to do the paper route and I read when I come home before Tanner wakes up. Maybe I'm more efficient at keeping my house tidy and I don't even notice that I'm doing it. It's amazing to me that I can read that fast. I just finished this really great book that I would highly recommend to any woman. It's called "behind every good man" It's by John Bytheway. He is such a good author. I was lucky enough to hear him once at a fireside. He is so funny and puts things into a perspective that is easy to relate to.

Tanner started soccer last week and he loves it. He slept with the soccer jersey on that night and wore it the next day as well. What a funny boy. I just love him.

The other night we had Doritos and he asked if he could have some "Dorts" and I was like "huh?". So he pointed to the bag I had and said, "you know, Dorts." I then pointed to the word Doritos and told him that's what they were called. he still called them Dorts. He's so funny.

I went for lunch with my Aunt today. Going for lunch makes me feel rich for some reason. I always think that only rich people eat out for lunch. So it's nice. It makes me feel special.

Anyways, I think that's it for now. We are looking forward to the summer...as I'm sure most of you are.

Lies for good

This month has been an amazing month! I turned 30 just a little over a week ago and boy this year was a gooder. I told my family back in the fall that I wanted a surprise party because I had never had one before. My Mom said it would be up to Matt to plan that and when she said that I thought "well, I guess I'll never have a party then". Matt's not the best at keeping things like that from me. At least I thought he wasn't. Turns out, he was very secretive and was colluding with my best friend to throw me a huge surprise 30th birthday party. Man, I was totally surprised.

I was told that the Bishop wanted to meet with Matt and I and I was really worried because I really love my calling. Anyways, we got to the church and the Bishop asked us to help him count chairs so they could take them over to the stake center to set up for general conference the next day. When he opened the door, there was all my dear friends (minus a few) to surprise me. It was amazing. Of course I cried because first, I was in such shock/terror that when we entered this dark gym, there was everyone yelling surprise. It's a good thing I don't have a heart condition. Then to realize that my best friend and Matt planned this for me was indescribable. I can't believe that they would do that for me. I felt and still feel so undeserving. The family that I use to Nanny for had driven down to be there and that was a huge honor and surprise. We also had a pinata which was really fun.

Then as if that wasn't enough, my Mom and Aunt came down on Thursday night (the 9th) and when we went the next day for lunch, my sisters (minus Melany) had all come down to surprise me because they had planned their surprise before Matt and Susanne had and couldn't make it down for the first party. Then we had Easter after lunch back at home. And this weekend, my MIL is coming for Matt's birthday and next week, my Aunt is taking my to lunch. So it has been, to say the least, a wonderful birthday.

I feel so grateful for the friends I have made in the last 2 years in Raymond and for the friendships that I have kept with old friends. I just can't express how lucky I feel and what joy I feel for the friendships that I have and am continuing to make. This was truly a birthday I will never forget.

Tanner has learned to ride a 2 wheeler with training wheels. I don't think it will be long before he rides the bike without the training wheels. He is cuter than ever and is a bit more sassy now than he was a few months ago. He gets more of the "Tanner...!" warnings now where we just say his name and he knows. He is seeing the same chiropractor as I am and I am really happy that the doctor is so good with Tanner. He talks to him and asks him questions. Tanner isn't always the best with some doctors and so I am relieved that he is good for Dr.Bridge. I hope he'll be the same when we go to the dentist next month. I took him with me last month so he would see what was happening and I really hope that helped him and prepared him for his turn in the chair. He was a mess last year and I hope I was able to lessen the anxiety for him this time. I think it's important to show children that we do the same things and that it's not scary. I use to not take Tanner because it was inconvenient and I didn't want him to run around but now that he's a bit older, I can usually get him to stay with me.

Anyways, I can feel that summer wants to come. It has been pretty nice out lately and that's always a plus because then we can be outside without getting cold.

Things are going well for us right now. I have no complaints and I like that feeling. I feel at peace with life and my environment. That sounds so lame, but I don't know how to explain it. I just feel contentment.

So that's all for now.

Come Back

I have so much to write but not enough time so I just wanted to say please check back in the next few days becuase I have lots to say....and NO I am not pregnant.

Gone with the WInd

You would think that by now I'd be use to the wind but this morning...it's a bit wild. Anyways, what's been happening the last month. I went to my first book club/discussion group. It was pretty good. I enjoyed the book and hearing what other people got out of it. The following is my favorite quote of the book and my possibly be my favorite quote in life right now:

It is not enough for us to be convinced by the gospel; we must act and think so that we are converted by it. In contrast to the institutions of the world, which teach us to know something, the gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to become something...The final judgement is not just an evaluation of the sum total of good and evil acts-what we have done. It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts-what we have become. It is not enough for anyone just to go through the motions. The commandments, ordinances and covenants of the gospel are not a list of deposits required to be made in some heavenly account. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us how to become what our Heavenly Father desires us to become. Dallin H. Oaks

How true is that? It is so important to not just do what is right but do it because we want to do it. There are so many people who live the gospel for "show". They do what they think is right to look good. But then there's those who live and breathe the gospel who desire to do what's right because they know and believe that it will make them a better person and trust in the Lord and do His will. I hope that makes sense. There are the doers and then there are the believers.

Let's see, what else have we been up to? I finished the Book of Mormon for the 3rd time 2 weeks ago. I started reading it again right away. The more I read the Book of Mormon, the more I love it. I feel like I get to know the people better each time I read it.

Tanner is happy and healthy. He had a really bad cold a couple weeks ago and then had it again last weekend. I'm a bad Mom and kept him home last Monday from school because I felt it was more important for him to rest than to go to school. I remember as a child and especially as a teenager, my older and younger sister and I practically had to be dying or throwing up all over for my Mom to allow us to stay home from school. But my little sister, Melany....she could complain that she had a "tummyache or sore throat" and she got to stay home, no questions asked. And she didn't have the same rules as us. We had to lie in our beds or on the couch and rest. There was no watching t.v. or reading or anything like that. The only way I can get Tanner to rest is if we watch movies. Otherwise, he runs around the house and plays and doesn't rest. I guess every child is different.

The problem I'm having right now in life is constantly feeling judged. Like I'm not a good enough Mom, or that I'm not strict enough, or that my child isn't good enough or well behaved enough or that I'm too laid back. Parenting is such a tricky thing sometimes. And not feeling like a good Mom, for me, makes me feel like a bad person. It's something that is hard for me because I have felt judged my whole life because of my past and I am really trying hard to be a better person and not be that girl I was 10-15 years ago that people strongly disliked. I've spent a lot of time on my knees because I know it comes down to forgiving myself. I can't make people like me or see me the way I would like them to see me. I can only be responsible for me and how I act and treat other people. It's a growing and learning process. That's life, I guess.

Anyways, I should go. Thanks for letting me open myself up to my vulnerability.

I'm better

I'm better now. My neck is fine, thank goodness. I don't know what happened. I finally took some Robaxacet and it was fine. I don't know why I didn't think of that in the first place.

Now that I'm well, Tanner is sick. Sick with a cold. He was quite ill on the weekend, but now he's just got a cold. It's that time of year.

We are on reading break right now and it's been pretty nice. I thought I'd be going crazy with having Tanner all day, but it's been quite fun and pleasant. I have become accustomed to my mornings and using it for my study time so I sometimes dread when Tanner is at home from school because I get worried that I won't be able to have any time to study. It's like sacred time for me. Sometimes, I don't even answer the phone so I'm not interrupted (except for you Sharon because I wait all day by the phone for you to call me...lol).

We watched Madagascar 2. It's somewhat funny, but it still has that sometimes inappropriate adult humor hid in it. I really liked the bonus features on it.

I found this amazing quote but I don't have it with me but it is really good so stay tuned because I'll have it up next time I post. It's from this book I'm reading right now called "Hearing the voice of the Lord". It's a really good book. I was invited to a discussion group and this is the book for the month. So it's my first "book club" so I'm kind of excited. As I've said in previous posts, I have a hard time with books because they aren't censored like a movie is. You can go online and see how many swears and if there's nudity or violence in a movie but in a book...I've never heard of a website where you can check for that sort of stuff in a book. I don't really like getting into a book and having a bunch of crude language or explicit scenes described. I feel like I've wasted my time in reading that book and I don't force myself to continue the book. It's just not something that I choose to read. I want to read good books. Uplifting books. Books that teach me something. Books that have an interesting story to them. I'm not opposed to fru fru books (or candy books as someone I know refers to them), I just want it to be an appropriate book. One that I wouldn't be ashamed of telling the Lord I read. I know....that's a bit Molly Mormon, but that's just what I choose.

And I'd like to say that I finally broke down and am reading the Chronicles of Narnia. I'm still firm in NOT reading Lord of the Rings, but I read Prince Caspian and am now onto Voyage of the Dawn Treader. So for those of you who thought I'd cave, I did. And I actually really enjoy them. We recently just got the live radio version of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe so I'm going to listen to that next week when we go up to Calgary. I'm looking forward to it. So all you people can laugh and say "ha haa, I told you so". I deserve it. Anyways, I think that's it for now.